


All Boys

by Masterless



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/M, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, She doesn't actually get hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-21
Updated: 2014-11-04
Packaged: 2018-02-18 07:44:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 30,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2340572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masterless/pseuds/Masterless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My name is Clary, but in my new school, I go as Cain. I go to an all boys school for the arts, and I believe that I can have a normal school experience - as long as no one finds out I have a few, ehem, crucial "boy parts" missing. Based off iWant9Live2Live's story, "Forbidden".<br/>Originally posted on Fanfiction</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

PoV Clary  
"So, what do we have to do this?" Isabelle asked.  
"Ace bandages, make up and scissors," I replied.  
"Scissors?"  
"Boys don't normally have elbow length hair, Iz."  
"No, your beautiful hair!"  
"It has to be done."  
"I can't cut your hair! I won't."  
We did end up going to a hair dresser.  
I guess I should explain. I found this amazing, high end art/performing arts school, called Greenwood Institute, and I applied, accidentally putting Cain as my name. Don't ask me how I did, I just did. I got accepted, and I freaked out with Isabelle, my best friend, until she realized it's the same boarding school her brother goes to, and it's an all boys' school. I was so disappointed. But then Iz said that I could just go in disguise. I for some insane reason agreed. And that's where you came in.  
So, after we got back from the hair dresser, I started to gather my clothes.  
"Which do you think would look best as a guy?" I asked.  
"None of these, unless you want to have your head flushed down a toilet for being too gay," she replied, sitting down on my bed.  
"Your brothers gay."  
"Yeah, but not flamboyantly."  
"If you're not going to help, you can just-"  
"Let's go shopping." She stood suddenly and walked towards the door.  
"I haven't got time!"  
"I'll pay, and it's for your boy cause."  
We bought six different outfits, and three different pairs of converse sneakers. I changed into my new clothes when I got home and looked in the mirror.  
"Almost," Isabelle said. "You just have too much boobs for a guy."  
"That's what these are for." I held up the bandages. "This is going to hurt a little."  
"We could buy you a binder."  
"They cost too much and I'd have to ship it here, which would take too long. I'm leaving in two days."  
"Fine. Do it, Clary. Cover those boobs." She sniffed dramatically and flopped down on my bed.  
I did. And I did the next day, so I could get used to it. The day that I left, Isabelle came with me to the airport.  
"Have fun in New York, sweetie," she said. "Send me a postcard."  
As I got on the plane, I felt apprehensive. But hopeful.


	2. Time For School

PoV Clary  
When I got off the plane in New York, there were obviously a lot of people there for the school. Three whole coach busses full. I followed nervously, pushing my hair behind my ears and pulling on a beanie. Guys wear a lot of beanies, apparently, because Isabelle bought me six. I tugged down my sweatshirt sleeves, pulled up my pants, and walked over to luggage claim, all the while thinking, This is not going to work.  
On the bus, I sat in the back, listening to my music and focusing on the view. I felt a guy sit next to me, and was initially annoyed. I say initially because when I turned to yell at him, practicing my guy voice, my breath hitched in my throat. He was beautiful. His hair was a soft gold colour, almost covering his eyes, which were almost the exact colour of honey; rich yellow and gold.  
"Can I help you?" he asked.  
"I…" I shook my head, and then pointed at the seat. "You're on my sketch pad."  
"Oh," he said, getting up to remove it. He handed it back with a smile, and then seemed to be engrossed in a conversation with the guy in front of him. I looked at the offending person, wondering who could it have been to interrupt m nearly conversation with the blond boy, and saw another nice looking boy. He was good looking in his own way though, a shy beauty. His hair was soft looking and black, though it looked like he'd cut it himself, in the dark, with a rust pair of garden shears. He had high-ish cheekbones, pale skin, a thin nose, pale pink lips, and startling blue eyes. He looked familiar, as well.  
"Are you a Lightwood?" I asked suddenly, instantly slipping into my guy voice.  
The guy looked startled. "How did you know?"  
"I have a friend who looks like you. Isabelle…" I drifted off, since the gold haired boy was looking at me funny. "What?"  
"Nothing, you just sound a bit like a girl."  
I scowled. Drat, I thought.  
"She's my sister," the black haired boy said. "My names Alec."  
"Cain," I said, offering a hand. He took it and shook.  
"I've never heard her say anything about a boy names Cain."  
"Well, she's not really my friend," I said, tugging on my sleeve. "She's my sister's friend. Clary."  
"Oh." He seemed appeased, as though finding out that his little sister didn't have a male friend called Cain made him happy. Brothers, I though. I found myself sat in an awkward silence when neither of them continued talking. "So," I said to the blond one. "What's your name?"  
"Jace," he said.  
"Nice name," I said.  
There was another awkward silence.  
"So," Alec said.  
The bus stopped.  
"We must be here!" Alec said.  
"No, we're picking up some other kids." Jace nodded out the window. There was a small crowd of boys piling onto the bus.  
One of the guys walked towards the end of the bus, and stood, looking at Alec. "I see you have an empty seat next to you. May I sit?"  
We all looked at him, eyes wide. He was… not typical, to say the least.  
He must have been Asian, because he had a slight tilt to his thin eyes. His nose was thin, like Alec's but his was a little longer. His black hair was up in a crown of multi-coloured spikes, his skin was tan, his eyes a brilliant yellowy green. He must have been wearing contacts, though, because the pupil was split, and vertical, like a cats. His shirt was tight and bright tie-dye coloured, a baggy black jacket over top. His pants were tight and black, his boots dark blue. The clothes would not have gone together on anyone else, but he made it work.  
He raised a thin eyebrow.  
"Take a picture, it'll last longer," he said, placing a hand on his hip.  
"Take a seat, back there!" yelled the driver.  
Alec blushed deeply and stood so the teen could take the seat in front of me, next to the window.  
"Hi," I said.  
"You look like a girl," he said, but he smiled and held out his hand. "The name's Magnus Bane."  
"Nice to meet you, I'm Cain. And this is Jace and Alec."  
"Nice," he said, looking Alec over. "Short for Alexander, I'm guessing."  
Alec shivered as Magnus rolled the "r" in his name. He nodded and blushed again. He smiled a small smile, and turned back to Jace, his shoulders tight. I was very sure that his shoulder blades were touching. Magnus grinned like the Cheshire cat, and turned back to me.  
"So, what you in for?" he asked.  
"Art," I replied dumbly.  
"Really? I never would have guessed." He smiled. "I'm here because I am one of the best singers in all of Brooklyn, and I am one of the brightest minds from Indonesia."  
"I'm a really good drawer," I said, smiling shyly. "I'm just really glad I could get in."  
"You're new?" he asked. "Oh, babe, you're gonna get destroyed by the seniors."  
"No he's not," Jace said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "We Juniors might not be all that like you seniors, but this little sophomore will be fine under the protection of Alec and me."  
"Don't forget me," Magnus said. "I wasn't going to say that I'd pick on her, it's just that the others might pick on her."  
"Him," I said.  
"Mmmm, I'll be the judge of that."  
"Magnus is one of the most popular seniors," Alec informed me. "I've heard of you, but I never actually met you."  
"That's because I live all over America, dear, and I get to school different ways each year." Magnus smiled and touched Alec's arm, rubbing his thumb over the fabric of his sweater. "You feel strong."  
Alec was frozen, his eyes wide beneath his fringe, his breathing undetectable. "P-please… d-don't…"  
Magnus frowned, pouted and removed his hand from Alec.  
I hid my smile behind my hand. It was obvious that Magnus was hitting on him, and Alec just didn't know. The rest of the trip was uneventful. We got to the school, and shuffled off to our rooms. Jace and Alec, Magnus and some guy called Jordan, and me and a guy called Simon. He was pretty cool, with video games nerd written all over his face. His nose had a light spray of freckles, not like mine, but they were there. He had a head of short curly hair, his glasses thick rimmed. He was skinny and tall, his clothes baggy and a bit ratty. He was a sophomore, like me.  
I set up my side of the room, placing a picture of me and my mum, and one of Isabelle.  
"She your girl friend?" Simon asked, pointing at Iz.  
"No, she's my best friend."  
He nodded.  
Before I went to sleep, I called my mom. Simon was quietly snoring to my left, moon light drifting thought the window next to me. She was asleep, back in Boston, and she must not have heard the phone go off, so I left a message, saying how much fun I was having.  
I couldn't wait for the next day.  
My plan was working.


	3. You're a Girl?

PoV Clary

The first day of classes was pretty cool. The teachers were a lot more laid back than I thought they'd be, and the students weren't as stood up as I expected. I had the normal classes (English, history, science and math), but I also had Artist's Eye, an amazing art class, with almost every single colouring utensil under the sun, Computer Animation (which I have with Simon), in which we made cartoons and commercials. I also had Glee class. Yes, not club, CLASS. A whole class that was just Glee club. I mean, it was awesome! We sang little songs, just randomly and in strangely perfect harmony. I loved it! (I have that class with Magnus and Jace).

I did have a general music class, where I met some of Simon's friends (I had that class with him, too). They were kind of weird, and dumb, but they were funny. They sang a Voltaire song, "Brains", from The Grimm Adventures of Billy and Mandy. They were really good. I was introduced to Jordan. Magnus's roommate. He's a junior as well, with Alec and Jace, but he acts more like us sophomores. I don't have any classes with Alec, but I had lunch with him, and I got the feeling he didn't really like me. He seemed to be, I don't know, protective, sort of, of Jace. He didn't want Jace to talk to me. Jace probably didn't notice.

It was that afternoon when I came upon my first snag.

Showering.

The showers were open, like the ones in a locker room, and there were naked guys everywhere. I blushed profusely, until I backed out of there. I bumped into Magnus on the way out.

"Are there-" I cleared my throat. "Are there any, um, other bathrooms? With, like, shower curtains?"

"You gay?" Magnus asked. "Don't want to throw a bone?"

"Um…" Eh, what the hell? "Yeah."

He smiled. "Come with me, young grass hopper."

He led me downstairs, into another set of showers.

"It was the girls' room," Magnus explained. "When the school board decided to split the schools up, they didn't bother changing the arrangement. Not many people come down here."

"Why did they split the schools?" I asked.

"They didn't want any more teen pregnancies. Trust me, it happened a lot."

I giggled and turned on the water. I started to undress when I felt Magnus's eyes on me.

"Can you, um… turn around?" I asked.

He smiled and complied. I kept my eyes on him as I stripped, and only when I was in the shower with the curtain closed did I say he could turn. I was starting to rub shampoo in my hair when he spoke up again.

"Cain, what do you think of Alec?" he asked, strangely somber.

"I think he's an arrogant prick who needs to sort out his feelings," I said.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yeah."

There was a silence. After a few minutes, he asked softly, "Do you think I have a chance with him?"

"Sure, if he gets over Jace."

I didn't have time to prepare. I heard his feet slap again the wet tile, but he was too fast. He wrenched open the curtain, shouting, "Really?" with a goofy grin on his face.

I screamed and covered myself, falling onto the tiles.

"I knew it!" he yelled in delight. "I knew you were a girl!"

"Magnus!" I screamed.

He grinned broadly, jumping up on one foot. "I knew it!"

"Would you please close the curtain!?"

"Oh, sorry." He complied with my demand, his feet padding over to the toilet, where he sat down. "I'm actually quite impressed. No one else seems to see the truth."

"How did you?" I asked, turning off the water.

"I know a girl when I see one, my dear." He sighed. "I grew up with so many."

"You have a big family?" I asked, getting out of the shower, wrapping a towel around me.

"I…" he seemed to be debating. "I grew up in an orphanage."

He paused, as if waiting for my reaction. I sat down on the counter in front of him.

"When I was born, my dad really didn't want a baby, so he kept beating my mom, as if it was somehow her fault. He figured that if he beat her, the problem would go away. When it didn't, he turned on me…" he voice had lost its perkiness. He was hunched over on the seat, his hands clasped together between his knees. "He couldn't deal with the hospital bills. My mom kept taking me, so I could get looked after, and it was bad yeah, but at least, to her, I was getting the care I needed. Then we found out my mom had cancer. And the hospital bills just kept building up, and my mom became depressed. She did the only thing that seemed logical. She killed herself. That was when I was eight." He was silent for a moment, collecting his thoughts. He flicked away a tear that was trickling down his cheek. "My dad got compensation money, and instead of paying off the bills, he spent it all on booze. My dad was an angry drunk, and he took his anger out on me, now that my mom was gone. He finally decided to get rid of me when I was ten."

"Magnus," I said. "Please, if you don't want to…"

"No, it's okay. I haven't told anyone here, and it feels really nice to finally be open with someone."

"Okay. But not here. Someone could walk in on us."

We ended up moving to Magnus's room. It was a little bigger than mine, and more extravagantly decorated. But more on that later.

"As I was saying, when I was ten, my dad thought it would be a good idea to get more compensation money. He took me to the river behind our house, and held my head under the surface. If it weren't for our OCD neighbour, who had to water his plants at 8:06 pm on the dot, I'd be dead."

There was a stunned silence between us, Magnus sat, hanging his head and hunching over, and me, sat on Jordan's bed, silently wiping the snot on my sleeve.

"I didn't mean to make you cry," he said. "I just thought I'd tell you a little back story to growing up with a lot of girls. I was sent to an orphanage, where it was mostly girls. It was fun, but I felt really lonely."

"Hey," I said, trying to cheer him up. "Do you think they're the reason you're gay?"

He looked at me, his golden green eyes wide.

"I'm… I'm sorr-" I started.

He burst out laughing. He shook with laughter, tears streaming from the corners of his eyes.

"Okay, I've told two people that story, and both of them were like, 'Oh, Magnus, I'm so sorry,' but you, no, you asked if they made me gay!" He continued to laugh. His laugh was great, it filled the room with happiness and life. His smile lit up his whole face, his eyes glowing with mirth.

I spent a few more hours with Magnus, sitting on his bed and leaning against each other, listening to random Disney songs and searching the web. He showed me the orphanage he lived in, way back in Indonesia. It was a ramshackle little place, but the care taker looked happy, and so did the children. He found the picture of when he was there. He looked so cute, his hair fluffy, his front teeth missing. He was the only boy.

I wandered back to my room near midnight, and bumped into Alec.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"Aren't you supposed to be in bed?" he grumbled, not meanly, but tiredly.

"Yeah, I was, uh, hanging with Magnus."

"Hanging?"

"Yeah. You know, chilling. Hanging out."

"Do you…" He looked at me straight on, the light from the open window caught in his eyes, making them glow. "Do you think he likes me?"

"Yeah," I said, punching him lightly in the arm. "He likes you. A lot."

Alec smiled, and I thought he should do that more often.

"Do you think Jace likes me?" I asked.

"Sorry, but Jace isn't gay." He patted my shoulder and proceeded to the bathroom.

When I got back to the room, Simon was asleep. I stripped down to the ace bandages, the gingerly started to unravel them. I heard Simon shift in his bed. I reached under my pillow and pulled out my sports bra. What can I say? I hate sleeping without a bra. I stretched my arms over my head and reached to close the blinds.

"You're a girl?!"


	4. A Nearly Sleepless Night

PoV Clary

I jumped on my bed and pulled my blanket up to cover my chest, my back to the wall.

Simon scrambled for his glasses, turning on the light in the progress. His dark chocolate eyes widened looking at me, his cheeks growing pink with heat. He pulled his duvet up to cover his bare chest, mimicking my actions. He sat still, and then shifted awkwardly, moving his feet from under him.

"Who… what… who are you?" he asked after a pregnant silence.

"My name is Clary," I said.

"Fray?" His head snapped up, his fingers clutching his blanket tightly.

"Yeah… How did you know?"

"You… don't remember…" It wasn't a question; it was a statement, filled with such sadness that it broke my heart. "Well, why would you? It's been years…"

"What?"

His breath came out in a sigh, long and low. His fingers picked at the blanket, picking off extra pieces of fluff. I shifted slightly in my bed, reaching to the floor for my shirt. I slipped it over my head, watching as Simon's eyes grew wider. His cheeks grew pinker, his fingers picking at his blanket more furiously.

"Simon Lewis," I said slowly, the rusted cogs in my head starting to turn. "You were the boy who was forced to eat a worksheet in the third grade, and you threw up on my backpack. I… right?"

He smiled ruefully, and nodded, his curls bobbing. "And you punched me," he whispered.

"I hated you, for exactly three days and nine hours, and then I punched you again, saying, 'Jerk, you puked on Peter Pan,' and then I took your hand and we went to lunch." I smiled. "You were my best friend for two years, and then you moved to Philadelphia. I didn't forget about you."

He looked up at me, a small hopeful smile playing across his lips. "Really?"

"You changed, Simon. You look different. And even if I had realized it was you, what would I have done?" I asked.

"You could have told me!" he said.

"Yeah, 'cause that would have worked. 'Hey, Simon, it's me, Clary! Remember me? We were best friends, and now I'm disguised as a boy to come to this school!'"

He laughed, his cheeks losing some of their redness. "I'm afraid to say I would have believed you. It was something you'd do back then, so why not now?"

I smiled. "Will you tell anyone?"

"No." His answer was immediate. He seemed to not want to question my logic, why I was there, well, that was my business, not his, but he would stick with me.

"Thank you," I said softly.

"Can… Can I ask you one thing?"

"Sure."

"Are you transgender?" His eyes were wide, and he looked slightly lost.

"No," I answered. "I'm one hundred percent girl."

"Oh," he said. "It's just, you seem really comfortable in your get up, and you don't in that."

"The bra?" I laughed. "I'm not comfortable at all right now, but that's because I was caught without my top on by an old friend."

He laughed.

There was a knock on the door. I pulled my duvet up higher, covering myself, even though I wasn't very obvious under my shirt. It was Magnus, at the door, so I lowered my blanket. His eye brows raised a fraction, and he strode into the room.

"Can I help you?" Simon asked.

"No, but I wanted to talk to Cain," Magnus said, sitting on my bed.

"It's okay, he knows," I said, really to Simon but Magnus understood it, too.

"This isn't a secret you can throw around willy-nilly, Clarissa, you need to be more, well… secretive," he said, his golden green eyes shining in the lamp light.

"It was an accident," I growled. "What did you want?"

"You left your phone, and I wanted to talk more about Alec."

"He likes you," I said. "He told me so." I had a shooing motion with my hands. "Now go, Simon and I were reminiscing."

He pouted, and flopped on my bed. "No."

I didn't even bother. Simon sat down again, and we talked well into the night about our multiple adventures as children. He told me about his friends in Philly, and I told him about my friends in Boston. I can't exactly remember falling asleep, but when I woke up, Magnus had wrapped an arm around me, and Simon was sat by the side of my bed, his head resting on my mattress.


	5. I Can Feel It

The awkward guy conversation and the weight lifting invitation in this chapter were the idea of ThatHippieChick (on FanFiction). If you have any ideas you want to see in this, just hit me up with a PM. C:

PoV Clary

I made my way down the hall to English when I bumped into someone. It was Jace. He smiled and steadied me with a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey," he said. I noticed a chipped tooth, making his smile seem imperfect, which just made him more perfect. "Where are you going, Cain?"

"English," I said. I yawned and placed a hand over my mouth. "Sorry…"

"It's okay," he said. "I know you stayed up late, Alec told me about meeting you in the hall." He took my arm. "Come on, I'll take you to your class."

He led me to class, his hand a warm presence, holding my arm just above my elbow. His fingers were warm and dry. He was talking, but I had drifted off, concentrating on the tingling feeling that was slowly drifting up my arm.

At the door of my class, Jace pulled me aside.

"Come join me and some guys in the gym, yeah? We're all going tomorrow, me, Alec, Jordan, Magnus, some other guys. You can bring the nerdy one, if you want." His smile was contagious, and I accepted his offer, knowing full well that I don't know anything about lifting weights or sports.

Class went by in a haze of mockingbirds and Boo's, but I kept thinking about the tingling feeling in my arm. It was gone now, and it made me sad, but I knew it was for the best. I mean, that'd be the worst thing I could do. Developing feelings for him would be like murder.

At lunch, I sat with Simon and his friends. It was fine until they started talking about their girlfriends.

"Man, is she great in bed," said Eric, one of Simon's closer friends. He was sat across from me, his massive shoulders nearly pushing his friends out of their sets. "She just goes crazy, man. It feels great when she's sucking me off, dude, and fucking her is so awesome. She's always willing to do it."

"Hey, Eric," it was Matt, another friend of Simon, "gimme her number, would ya'?"

"Fuck off, man," Eric said with a laugh.

"That's all bitches are good for; fucking." It was one of Matt's friends, Jonathan Morgenstern. His eyes were like obsidian, his hair so blond it was almost white. My stomach churned at his comment, but I kept my mouth closed.

The conversation went on like that for a while, stuck on how good their girl friends/ ex girlfriends were in bed.

"What was your first time like, Cain?" Matt asked.

All the eyes were on me.

"Um… Well…" Quick, Clary, say something! "It was great."

"What was it like?" Eric asked.

"…Great?" I said. "Normal. I mean, we kissed a lot before, and stuff. And we used protection…"

"That's all good and all, but what was she like?" Jonathan asked.

I looked at him sidelong, his black eyes glistening.

"Yeah, Cain, what was she like?" Simon asked, a smile on his voice.

"My first time having sex?" I asked.

"Yeah," they all said.

"Oh, it was great…" I smiled. "It felt so awesome, having the guy I loved inside me."

There was an appalled silence, in which Simon covered his laughter with his hand. Eric's eyes were wide with disgust.

"I didn't need to know that," Matt said.

Several guys shook their heads.

"You mean you don't want to hear all about it?" I asked. I put my arm around Simon's shoulders. "Simon was very interested last night, weren't you?" I leaned over and kissed his cheek, causing him to flinch. I stood and picked up my lunch tray. "See ya laterz, babe."

I walked away, listening to the roar of accusations and questions fired at Simon.

"That's just wrong, dude!"

"Did you sleep with him?"

"Dude, that's so gross!"

I laughed as I walked out to the outside lunch benches. Magnus was sat there, a cigarette in his fingers.

"You'll get lung cancer, you know." I sat next to him.

He took a long drag from the offending cigarette, and blew a perfect circle of smoke.

"I know," he sighed. "I only do it when I'm stressed."

"What's stressing you?"

"Alec," Magnus said. "I talked to him in the bath room today, and he agreed to a date, but he won't go anywhere near here, and if there's any mention of Jace, his eyes go all gooey, and he smiles this big goofy smile."

"It's puppy love, don't worry," I said. "And Jace isn't even gay."

"I know." Magnus sighed, and decided to lie down on the table. "I just wish that guys weren't so complicated…"

"Please, you aren't a girl pretending to be one," I said, lying down next to him.

"No, but I am one," he said, smiling softly.

"Don't worry, Magnus, he'll get over Jace, and he'll see that he's madly in love with you, and willing to do anything for you."

"And Jace will fall in love with you. But the real you."

"Yeah right."

"No, really. I can feel it."


	6. The Weight Room

PoV Clary

I was very apprehensive about the gym thing. I mean, I weigh 105 pounds, and my arms are like limp noodles. I was looking forward to hanging out with the guys. Simon would come with me, so I wouldn't that wimpy. It's kind of a cruel reason to have him there, but it worked. I made sure that my ace bandages were well hidden beneath my tank top, and that I wore enough make up, so it wouldn't all come off if I sweated too much.

I met up with Jace in front of the school, and we walked towards the gym. He chatted on about a vacation his dad was planning, (going to London) and how his mum was getting remarried to another guy with three kids. I felt obsolete next to him, going on about his ten bedroom house with an indoor swimming pool.

"So, what's your house like?" he asked.

"I live in a flat with my mum," I said.

"Oh."

We were silent for a few minutes.

"I live in a really crowded neighbourhood, so it's not like we could find a big house." He smiled kind of sheepishly, and scratched the back of his head.

When we got to the gym, Alec, Jordan, Magnus, Simon and some other guys were already there. Alec and Jordan were lifting weights, Simon and the other guys were doing other assortments of exercises, and Magnus was sat on the floor, a scarf wrapped around his head, painting his toe nails.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I am doing what it looks like I'm doing," he replied, painting his left pinky toe red. As I watched, he painted a rainbow on his nails. "It symbolizes the fact that either from head to foot, or from foot to head, I am a rainbow."

"I thought you were bi," Simon said.

"I am." Magnus was speaking a scarily calm voice. He seemed like he was in the zone, completely "Zen"-ed.

Alec laughed, and Magnus's hand slipped. He painted an indigo line on his second right toe. He cursed softly, and blushed.

"You cause the Zen master to un-focus, Alec," Jace said. "You must be punished. I think Magnus will be pleased."

Alec turned red, and Magnus spilt his bottle of nail polish on his right foot.

"Shut up, you ass wife," Magnus said.

"Oh, come on," Jace said. "It was a joke."

No one laughed.

"Jeeze, tough crowd." Jace shrugged and waved me over to a bar bell. I think that's what it was. "Come here, I'll spot you."

"…What?" I asked.

"Lift. I'll make sure you don't drop it on your face."

I got onto my back and put my arms around the weight. I tried, literally with all my strength, to move it, but it didn't. Jace chuckled and removed a pair of weights from each end. Still, I couldn't lift it. I got down to ten pounds on each side and then, I could lift it.

"You are a little pathetic," Magnus, who had migrated over, said.

"I know," I moaned.

Jace chuckled, his shoulders shaking.

"Why do you shave your arm pits?" Jordan asked.

"I… um, I was on the swim team in my last school… and it… reduces… resistance in the water?" I said, haltingly. "Yeah, that's why."

Magnus was choking back his laughter. He covered his mouth with an elegant hand, his hair hanging down in front of his eyes.

"What ever."

The rest of the day was pretty much uneventful, so I'll leave it there. I want to save myself the embarrassment of what happened the next day for tomorrow.


	7. Absolutely a Hopeless Case

PoV Clary

Okay, I know I told you that I was putting off the embarrassment until tomorrow. Well, tomorrow is today, so I guess I have to.

The day started off pretty normal. I got up, brushed my teeth, went to the lunch hall for breakfast, and talked a little with Magnus. I was falling into a routine. I was having a great time painting a mask in Artists Eye, when –BAM! Cramps the size of America set in. I curled up into a ball, pulling my legs to my chest. The guy next to me, who happened to be Matt, Simon's friend, asked if I ask okay, and when I said no, he called over the teacher, who sent me to the bath room.

I walked towards the bathroom, hands on my abdomen, and walked into Alec. His chest was hard when I hit him, his hands rough on my forearms.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Going to the… bathroom," I said, feeling the nausea set in.

"Are you okay?"

I shook my head, which I shouldn't have. I looked down at the floor to try to regain control of my stomach. Here's a tip- don't do that. I coughed, gagged, and vomited on Alec's shoes. He went stiff. Another wave hit, and I lost the rest of my breakfast on his shoes. I looked up at him, his face set into a hard grimace. He looked down at me, and he frowned. It was terrifying. His frown continued down into a scowl, and I back away from him-

-into Jace.

"Did you throw up?" he asked, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I nodded ever so slightly, and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

"Come on, I'm taking you to the nurse."

He started pulling me towards the end of the hall when Alec said, "Hey, what about my shoes?"

"They can come, too," Jace said.

I was desperately trying to figure out a way to escape when Simon passed by in the hall.

"Simon can take me," I said, detangling myself from Jace.

He frowned a little, his eyebrows raising.

"Yeah," Simon said. "I can."

"Oh… okay," Jace said.

I turned semi-quickly to Simon, grabbed his hand, and started to tug him down the hall.

"Where are we going?" he whispered.

"To the room," I grumbled.

He didn't ask any further questions, and stood bravely outside the door when I went into the bathroom.

I know what you're thinking. Period. Yeah, it sucks, but it isn't that embarrassing throwing up on someone's shoes. It got worse. I developed what Isabelle likes to call sudden clumsiness syndrome. It's a leading cause of embarrassment for over half of the teenage population.

So, after using a tampon (man those things are hell), taking four pain killers (Oh, dear I overdosed, go cry me a friggin' river), and returning to class, my syndrome started to take over. I knocked over bright blue paint all over my mask, and a bottle of sequins on Matt's. He squeaked, ran his hands through his hair, and decided that it looked better that way. He should drop glittery things on his project more often.

During lunch, Magnus insisted that I sit with him and the theatre guild, so I did. But I got a lunch first, making sure I got in first so that I'd get the best piece of lasagna. It looked so great! As I was making my way back to my table, I tripped. On air. I watched as my lasagna flew through the air and hit (the poor guy) Alec, square in the back of his head. Pasta sauce flew in every which way, looking like a splatter of blood. The pasta slipped from the back of his head, down onto his perfectly white tee-shirt. It hit the floor with a sickening squelch, and there was absolute silence.

Alec turned around, slowly, to face me. I was still flat on the floor, looking up at him. His face was scarily clam, blank of any anger. He stood, walked over to me, helped me up, and ceremoniously punched me in the nose. I deserved it. I most certainly did not deserve the punches he pelted at me after that first one, though. Yes, I'd puked on his shoes, yes, I had thrown lasagna at him but neither of those times did I do it on purpose.

Alec was pulled off of me by Jace, and Magnus rushed to my side.

"Honey, are you okay?" he asked, helping me to sit.

"I'm bleeding," I mumbled.

"No shit, Sherlock," Alec said, flexing his fingers.

"You ass hat!" Magnus said, directing his torrent of insults towards Alec. He topped his stream with an, "I can't believe I ever liked you!"

There was another pregnant silence.

"Oh, please," Magnus said, helping me to my feet. "It's not like everyone here wasn't wondering."

He led me to the nurse's office, and helped me back to my room. My nose wasn't broken, just really sore. I had bled mostly because he was wearing a ring.

There was a knock at the door to my room, some hours later. It was Jace, pulling a groaning Alec by the arm. They stood in silence for a few minutes. Jace nudged Alec's arm.

"Go on," he whispered.

Alec sighed and scowled. "I'm sorry," he said, not sounding very sorry.

"Okay," I said.

I stood to shake his hand, but my foot got caught in my duvet. Alec had turned to go away, but I fell on him, pushing him down onto the floor. The poor man's nose smashed against the floor, and broke with a crunch, blood squirting everywhere. Alec howled in pain, covering his face with his hands and sitting on his knees.

"I am so sorry!" I said, over and over. "I'm so sorry!"

Jace took him to the nurse, who took him to the hospital. Alec's nose was definitely broken. And I was definitely an absolutely hopeless case.


	8. Planning for the Party

PoV Clary

"Thou peevish, ill-breeding clotpole!" Magnus yelled.

"You, thyself, are a knavish, evil-eyed nut-hook!" I screamed back.

"You darest impugn my honour, sir?" His upper lip drew back in a snarl.

"I darest, you waggish, bunch-backed cutpurse!" I scowled deeply.

"Thou art a hideous, lily-livered mimi… mimim… min..i..mus."

I snorted back a laugh as the professor yelled, "Magnus, learn your pronunciations!"

"Thou art a hideous, lily-livered min-i-mus," Magnus said, pointedly saying each syllable with vehemence.

"Oh, sit down," professor sighed.

We sat, Magnus pulling out his phone and resting his feet on the back on the chair in front of him. We were in the Performing Arts Center, the best auditorium I've ever seen. The Professor, Prof. Atkinson, threw a fit if you called it an auditorium, though. He threw a fit whenever someone called him Miss Maudie, too.

"You coming to the Hallowe'en party tonight?" Magnus asked, not once looking up from his phone.

I forgot to tell you. It's been two months since the start of school. It's going by so fast.

"Yeah," I said.

"What're you going as?" He looked up for a moment, when Alec passed by, and then to me. "I'm thinking either the Cheshire cat or a stylized grim reaper."

"That'd be cool, the grim reaper," I said. "I'm going in a dress."

"Really?" He looked up from his phone. "Are you sure that'd safe?"

"I really don't care." I sighed and looked up at the ceiling. "How're thing's going with Alec?"

"I don't know." He sighed as well. "I'm still not talking to him for what he did to you. It was completely unwarranted."

"I spilt lasagna on his back."

"It was an accident."

"Whatever. I told him that I wasn't going to forgive him, but I really want to talk to him again. His voice gets this really care free tone when he's with me. It's really cute."

"He'll come around, don't worry," I said.

"Come around what?"

"…The door," I said sarcastically. I waved my hand in the direction of the door, and said, "Accio Alec."

And he walked through the door.

"Oh my god!" Magnus said loudly. "Do it again!"

"Accio Jace!"

Simon walked in.

"I think it only works once," Magnus murmured.

"Yeah…"

Alec was going to walk further down the aisle, but he saw us. He quickened his pace and stood next to Magnus. He looked squarely at me, and I shifted away a little.

"I'm sorry I punched you," he said. "I lost my temper, and I shouldn't have done it."

"I'm sorry I caused you to have a broken nose."

"I know, you said it several times on the way to the hospital."

I nodded.

"Do you forgive me?" he asked.

"Yes."

He looked at Magnus, who was observing him through narrowed eyes. Magnus nodded and Alec sat next to him.

"So, Magnus, I was wondering if you… um, if you wanted to hang out sometime soon," Alec mumbled.

"We can go on a date soon, thanks!" Magnus said.

Alec blushed and looked at me.

"I know, don't worry." I smiled.

"Oh…"

So, by the end of theatre class, Alec and Magnus decided to go to the Hallowe'en party together, but with me and Simon. I was going in a dress, Magnus was a gay grim reaper, and Alec was a murderer.


	9. Hallowe'en Gone Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is attempted rape in this chapter, so if you don't want to read it, sorry...

PoV Clary

I was stood in front of the mirror, looking at myself, when Simon walked in.

"Whoa," he said.

He was dressed like some character from a web comic. Homestay or something or other. His skin was painted grey, and he had orange and yellow horns attached to his head. I smiled as his jaw dropped. It wasn't that often when someone as small as me gets to get that big of a reaction.

My dress was tight on my chest and abdomen, and it frilled out around the edges of the skirt. The skirt, itself, was relatively short in the front, stopping a quarter of the way down my black tight clad thighs. It trailed behind me, reaching the floor and ending with a short train. I had a wig of blond curls on. It was heavy and a bit scratchy, but comfortable. My shoes were lace up black and purple boots that went up to my knees. The dress was also Black with purple frills.

"Blond or red head?" I asked.

"R-red," Simon said, sitting down on his bed. "D-definitely red."

I took off the wig and put on another.

"You're right," I said. "I like this one better."

I put on my makeup (bold black eye liner, mascara, purple lipstick and purple body glitter), as Simon stared.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I just didn't think about what you normally looked like," he said quietly. "I never thought of you as a girl."

"That's fine," I said, checking the time. "Magnus and Alec should be here sometime soon."

"Clary?"

"Yeah?"

"Is this… is this a date?"

"What?" I looked at him squarely. His cheeks were growing red beneath the grey paint, his glasses smudges with the stuff.

"Well, it's obvious that we're going so that Magnus and Alec can go on a date without anyone knowing, so is it sort of like a double date?"

"I… don't think so."

His shoulders sagged; his chin fell to his chest. "Oh."

"But… you didn't ask me on a date," I said.

He looked up, his eyes widened. "Would you go to the Hallowe'en party with me as a date?"

"Sure."

He smiled. There was an awkward silence, long and slightly painful.

"What're your friends going to think? Going on a date with a guy?"

"They won't have to know. Alec and Magnus are going with us."

I nodded and turned back to the mirror. I place a silver tiara in my wig, and gave myself a look over.

"What do you think?" I asked.

"You look great."

There was a knock on the door, thankfully saving us from another awkward silence. It was Alec. His costume was pretty cool. He was splashed with fake blood. His hooded shirt looked like someone had left a bloody smear of a handprint. His jeans were ripped and bloody, again. He carried a (fake) sawed off shotgun. His eyes were the best part. He was wearing one contact that made the coloured part of his eye, the iris, completely black. The other eye was completely with, except for the pupil. I don't know what it had to do with being a murderer, but it was really cool.

"Where's Magnus?" we both asked.

I giggled. He smiled slightly.

"I thought he was with you," we chorused.

This time he did laugh.

Magnus popped his head in from behind Alec. "Here I am."

He looked really great. He wore shiny tight faux leather pants, which made his legs look thinner and awesomer. He was wearing chunky black combat boots over said pants, and they looked pretty boss. He wore a black hoody with the hoody pulled put. His hair was down and sparkly, his eyes in a raccoon mask of black and blue glitter. His lips were a dark blue, his nails the same colour. He held a long scythe, the only thing about the original Grim Reaper that stayed the same.

"I thought about getting one of those really small ones and putting it on a key chain for my phone," Magnus said. "But I thought that this was better."

"You look great," Alec mumbled.

"Kiss up," Magnus mumbled back at him. He turned his head towards me. "You ready, C-Bear?"

"C-Bear?" I scowled. "I don't like that."

"Me neither," Magnus said. "Come on, let's go."

Magnus was the only one of us who knew where the party was. It was in a college near the school, at one of the Frat houses. I felt like a spy when we went, like a girl infiltrating the inner sanctum of boys. Magnus laughed as I told him this.

When we got to the party, many of the boys from our school were already there. Matt and Eric and all of Simon's friends, Jace, Jordan and Sebastian. His obsidian eyes followed me as I made my way to the drinks table. They seemed to burn at my skin. He smiled knowingly, cruel and cold. I shuddered.

"You okay?" Simon asked. "Are you cold?"

"I'm… I'm fine," I said.

I walked around for quite some time, getting compliments and insults and catcalls thrown at me. I flipped many people off, trailing my skirt behind me. Many people stepping on it.

I walked up the stairs of the front room, following the smell of fresh air. I heard laughter behind a door, and opened it. I didn't know the girl, but Jordan did. He was almost balls deep in her. The girl noticed me over Jordan's shoulder and squeaked, but Jordan just turned and grinned.

"Get outta here, Cain," he yelled over the music.

I nodded drunkenly and shut the door. I stumbled over to the next door. It was Magnus and Alec, this time, but neither of them were naked. Magnus had his hands up under Alec's shirt, his lips attached to the latter's neck. Alec blushed, but grinned sheepishly. I grinned back and shut the door.

I was going to open another door when it opened. Sebastian was stood there, his black eyes boring dark holes into my eyes. He slowly clasped my arm and pulled me into the room.

"You know," he said, closing the door. "You shouldn't go around in dresses like that."

He pushed me down on the bed in the room, and took off his jack.

"Someone might get the wrong idea, Clarissa."

"How do you know me?" I mumbled slowly, drunkenly.

"I'm just trying to teach you a lesson," he said calmly, his fingers slowly unbuckling his belt.

I didn't catch on to what he was saying until then. I stood and edged towards the door. He was at the door before me, his finger nails digging into the skin on my arms. He smirked cruelly, his eyes aglow with a spark of ferocity. He pulled me back over to the bed, and pushed me down, standing back to unzipper his jeans. He lunged at me, his hands grabbing at my tights.

I kicked and punched, but he was stronger than me.

I screamed at the top of my lungs, but he covered my mouth with a hand as he started to pull down my tights. I was crying now.

The door burst open, and Sebastian was pulled off of me. Jace stood over me, trying to help me stand, and Magnus and Alec were behind him, holding Sebastian back. Magnus may have aimed a few punches at his face, but I can't really remember. Jace wrapped an arm around me, but I shoved him away, crawling into a corner of the bed. I pulled my tights back up, sobbing quietly. The music had come to a stop, and I heard many people rushing up the stairs.

"What's going on?" one guy said. He was the main Frat boy.

"This guy tried to rape my friend!" Magnus said, pointing at the offending teen.

"You!" the Frat said. "I banned you two years ago!"

Everyone turned to me, watching silently as the apparent cross dressing boy cried.

Magnus approached me, his hands out stretched.

"Come on," he whispered. "I'm not going to hurt you." I fell into his arms as he stooped next to me. He picked me up, his muscles bunching under his hoody. He carried me out, out into the cool and quiet of the night. Alec still had hold of Sebastian, and Jace has taken hold of his other arm. Sebastian was struggling against the hold, and, with a sharp twist, got loose. He ran at full speed towards the car park. Alec and Jace sped after him.

Back at the dorms, Magnus changed me out of my dress, but left my tights on. He dug into the closet and brought out a big blue shirt of Simon's. It said "Keep Calm, I'm the Doctor."

"Doctor Who," Magnus murmured. He nodded his head approvingly.

"Where is Simon?" I asked. "We left him at the party…"

"Don't you worry about him," Magnus said, passing me the shirt. I slipped it on over my bra. "I'll going to make you a cup of tea and some biscuits. Okay? I won't be gone long."

He walked over and hugged me, and then went to make my tea. A few minutes later, Jace and Alec came into my room, Simon skulking behind them.

"This one got in the way," Jace said, pointing over his shoulder at Simon. "I ran into him."

"You broke my glasses," Simon whined. "Are you okay, Cain?"

"Yeah," I whispered. "I'm okay."

"He got into a car," Alec said. "Like he had some fucking getaway driver. Don't worry, Cain. We won't let him hurt you again."

Magnus returned with tea and biscuits. He set them down on my bedside table.

I smiled slightly, looking at the four boys gathered in front of me. They had put themselves into the unknown for me, just to make sure that I was okay. I knew I shouldn't have, but I felt so happy.

I felt so happy because I had four amazing friends.


	10. He's Dead

PoV Clary

I was standing in front of a mirror in the bathroom, putting on my guy face when I felt someone enter the room. I started to shake, my hand trembling so badly that I had to put my makeup brush down. I let out a shaky breath.

"Hello?" I said.

There was no answer.

I didn't hear him, but I could feel him coming closer. I felt him walking towards me. I looked down at the sink, my hands clutching the sides of the porcelain, my knuckles white. My breathing was fast and shallow, my forehead breaking out in little beads of sweat. I raised my head to look in the mirror. Obsidian eyes met mine, pale lips stretched into a grotesque smile. I turned slowly to face him, but…

…he wasn't there.

I grabbed all my things and ran back to my room. I slammed the door and slid down it, letting out a quiet sob. Simon sat up in his bed, squinted at me and reached for his glasses. He stood and rushed over to me.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

"I thought… I thought he w-was in the bathroom." I buried my face in his thin chest. He smelled of beer and boy and sweat. "H-he was there, I know he was, but... but when I turned around to face him… he wasn't. Simon, I'm scared."

He gently shushed me, his thin fingers stroking my hair. He wrapped his other arm around me and pulled me closer. I curled up in him, letting him hold me.

"You'll be okay, Clary, I promise." He lifted my chin with a finger. "I won't let him hurt you."

He placed a soft kiss on my forehead, and then held me closer. We stayed there for a few minutes, but had to get up when someone knocked on the door. I walked over to my bed and sat down. Simon let Magnus in. He was smirking happily, holding up today's paper.

"I didn't know anyone still got that," Simon said.

"I like to get the news paper old fashioned like, you gotta problem with that?" Magnus asked.

Simon raised his eye brows and shook him head.

Magnus entered and sat on my bed as Simon shut the door.

"He's dead." He held out the paper, pointing to the main story with a delicate finger.

"Early this morning, a police vehicle was following a speeding car when it veered off the road and crashed into a nearby tree. The driver side of the car was completely crushed, the driver instantly killed. There were no skid marks; it was almost as though the driver, who is stated to be Sebastian Verlac, wanted to be killed. Sebastian Verlac, 18, was last seen at a Hallowe'en party at Greenview College, late last night. Read more on page nine."

I sat back and stared at Magnus. He was smiling.

"Why are you happy?" I asked.

Magnus' smile faded, replaced with a frown.

"Clary he tried to ra-"

"Don't say it!" I yelled.

Magnus jerked back a little.

"Clary, he tried to hurt you," he said sternly. "I don't want that monster in my school, and the farther away, the better."

"I don't want him around me either, but I didn't want him to die!" I stood and started to pace. I stopped and looked Magnus dead in the eye. "It was my fault anyway. I shouldn't have gone dressed up like that."

"Clary, he was a monster, and a jerk, you can't blame yourself!" Magnus yelled.

"Hey, maybe we should be quieter about the Clary thing," Simon said.

"Shut up, Simon!" Magnus yelled.

"Hey, don't yell at me, I'm just trying to help!"

There was a banging on the door. Magnus pulled the door open angrily. "What?!"

Alec was standing at the threshold, looking stunned. "I was… just going to ask you to keep it down…"

"Get in here," Magnus growled, grabbing Alec's arm and pulling him into the room.

Alec staggered in, his eyes drifting from Magnus to Simon to me. His eyes moved down and came to a stop on my chest. "Um…"

"It was early, she didn't put on her binding yet," Magnus explained.

"But… what?" Alec looked back at Magnus, completely confused.

"Oh, Cain's really a girl named Clary; can you get it into that thick skull of yours?" Magnus shouted.

"Hey!" Alec shouted, scowling. "I don't have a thick skull!"

"Stop yelling!" I shouted. "Please, I hate it, stop it!"

There was a stunned silence between the three boys.

"Clary," Magnus started.

"Don't you dare open your mouth!" I said. "I'm not going to put up with anymore fighting and yelling. I don't care if you think it wasn't my fault, I don't care if you think he's better off dead. I didn't want him to die, no matter how much I hated him. So leave it be!"

I picked up my things and walked to the bathroom again. I put on my binding and started to put on my make up when I heard someone enter the bathroom. I looked at him in the mirror out of the corner of my eye. Black hair, pale skin. Alec.

"Alec, could you please just leave me alone?" I asked.

He walked up behind me and placed his hands on my hips.

"Alec, get off," I said. I looked at him in the mirror.

It wasn't Alec.

"Did you like my little stunt?"


	11. Chapter 11

PoV Clary

I'm sorry. I left you on a cliff hanger for some time. I just couldn't write what happened. Not that it was too horrifically bad; it's just not fun thinking about it. Where did I leave off? Oh, yeah.

"Did you like my little stunt?"

I turned slowly, looking deep into his dark obsidian eyes. His face was covered in cuts and bruises, his arms wrapped in blood stained bandages.

"You died," I whispered.

"I let them think I was dead. It was the driver who died. The police in this town can't tell a stiff from a live one."

"A live one?"

"Don't you get it Clary? I'm dead inside." His fingers moved up to my upper arms, his nails digging into my flash. "That's how I knew about you, that's how I could even think about what I nearly did to you. I hate myself, I hate what I nearly did, but I still want to do it. You are beautiful, Clary, you are." His breath was hot against my neck. His lips kissed my collar bone, his fingers leaving my arms, travelling down my body. I shuddered.

"Stop," I said.

He stood up tall. "Why? Wouldn't it be better for both of us if you went along willingly? You could have fun, Clary."

"I don't know you. I don't like you. I don't trust you."

The soft look on his face crumbled, leaving behind rock hard anger. His hands gripped my hips again, dragging me forward. His hips hit mine, and his bucked his forward. I gasped as I felt him through his jeans, and tried to push him away.

"Get off of me!" I yelled.

"Cain?"

It was Jace. He'd just walked into the bathroom, his hair tousled from sleep. He took one look at me and lunged for Sebastian. He pulled the black haired blond off of me, wrestling him to the floor. Sebastian let out a string of swears as Jace kneed him in the groin. A crowd gathered in the door way, and Magnus and Alec fought their way through.

Magnus ran to me, his hands quickly roaming my body to check for injuries.

"Magnus, I'm fine," I whispered, hiding my chest from the boys.

Alec flung himself down into the battle on the floor. He held Sebastian down as Jace pounded into him, his fists flying.

A teacher ran into the bathroom and pulled Jace away.

"What in the sam hill do you think you were doin'?" he yelled.

"He tried to rape my friend!" Jace yelled, indicating to me with a swing of his arm. "Like he did last night."

The teacher looked at me. "He raped you?"

"Tr-tried to," I whispered.

The teacher looked down at Sebastian, leaned down to pick him up, and punched him again.

"I would appreciate it if none of you would mention that to the other teachers."

The crowd of boys all nodded in unison.

The teacher picked Sebastian up again, and pulled him out of the room. The boys dispersed. Alec went to put a hand on my shoulder, but decided not to, then decided to put a hand on my shoulder again.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

I nodded. "I think so. Why do I attract creeps?"

"I don't think you do," Magnus said. "Just one creepy lunatic."

I chuckled, and Magnus pulled me closer with one arm. He hugged me tightly, and kissed the top of my head. Jace moved forward and wrapped his arms around me.

"Jace," I mumbled against his chest.

"Yes?" he replied.

"Why do you have a boner?"

He back pedaled and looked down at his sweat pants. "God damn it!"

Alec, Magnus, and I burst out laughing. Jace scratched the back of his head and smiled sheepishly, which was a first (and last) for him.

"Sorry. Morning wood…"

"Oh, that's apparently a sign that you're not gay!" Magnus said.

"Apparently? Wouldn't you know, Magnus?" Simon asked, waling in the door.

"Bisexual, asshole."

"Yeah, you've got one," Alec said.

Magnus' eyes widened.

"Alec gets morning wood all the time," Jace said.

"What?" Magnus and Alec said in unison.

"Alec gets morning wood all the time and he's gay."

Alec spluttered and looked at Jace. "You know?"

"Dude, I knew since the second I met you."

"Can we concentrate on the fact that Cain nearly got sexually assaulted, again, rather than the fact that I get morning wood and I'm gay?" Alec said, his face turning progressively redder.

"Can we not?" I asked. "Morning wood is a much better conversation than my near rape case."

"Cain," Magnus said softly. "Come on; let's just take a minute to talk. I just want to tell you that you are not to blame and that we will protect you however we can."

"Yeah," Alec said. "I'm not good with words, so; what he said."

"I will do anything for you, Cain," Jace said.

"Shalom," Simon said.

"Doesn't that mean hello?" Jace asked.

"Peace, hello, goodbye."

"Come on, let's go back to Cain's room," Magnus said.

"Yeah," Jace said. "I came in 'cause I needed to pee, but you go ahead."

We nodded and began to leave.

"Alec, can I have a word, please?" Jace said.

Magnus and I shared a raised eye brow, but continued to walk.

I stooped to tie my shoe when I got out of the bathroom, and I heard them talking.

"What is it?" Alec asked.

"I think I'm gay," Jace said.

"What? Why?"

"Cain."

"What about him?"

"I think I'm in love."


	12. Chapter 12

PoV Clary

I stood up and ran back to my room, where Magnus and Simon had convened.

"Magnus, Jace told Alec he thinks he loves me!" I said loudly.

Magnus sprung up from my bed. "What?!"

"Alec and Jace were talking about me when I stopped to tie my shoe and Jace said he thinks he loves me!" I screamed quietly. "Oh, god, he thinks he's gay and it's all about me!"

"You can't rush into this," Magnus warned. "He needs his space to come to terms with his not so gayness."

"Magnus, what am I going to do? He said he thinks he loves me, and I don't know how I feel about him because I told myself that falling for him would kill me since he's not gay! I really want to tell him that I'm a girl, I mean, he's the only one that doesn't know!"

"Calm down, girl!" Simon said. "Don't tell him, you should see if he's really gay or just in love with you."

"I should!" I said.

Simon nodded and sat down again.

So I spent the next few days just getting to know Jace. We once actually went on a sort of date. Though he didn't all it a date. We went to the movies and saw Star Trek, Into Darkness. It was pretty amazing, and Benedict Cumberbatch was supper awesome! I fangirled over him when the movie ended, causing Jace to laugh so hard. A guy shouted at us as he passed, "Fags!" and I could tell Jace got upset.

"It's okay, just let it be." I patted his arm.

"I'm not gay, though!" he said.

"It doesn't matter. He's just yelling at us to get a rise. It doesn't matter what he thinks, it matters what we feel," I said.

We drove back in silence and when he walked me to my door, he took my hand.

"Thanks," he said quietly. "I would have gone after that guy if you hadn't talked me down."

I stood at my door and smiled. "No problem, bro."

His hand was still in mine and he didn't seem to want to let go.

"Good night," I said, letting his hand go.

"Cain?"

"Yeah?"

He leaned forward and down a little. His lips were warm and dry, shocking me with their touch. He smiled when he pulled away and walked to his room. I went into mine.


	13. Chapter 13

WARNING: MASSIVE TORCHWOOD SPOILERS AHEAD. You have been notified and I am not responsible for any resulting feels.

PoV Clary

I was stood at the door to my room for a while. Simon stared at me with a strange look on his face; like he was happy but sad at the same time. I smiled at him slowly, and made my way back to my bed. I was in a state of semi happiness and semi confused-ness. Is that even a word? I don't know and I don't care.

When I woke up, I half expected last night to have been a dream. But I still had the ticket stub in my jeans, and I still had half a packet of Swedish Fish in my coat pocket. I sighed as I got ready for the day, (it was Sunday) and prepared myself for the cooling weather of autumn. I picked up a scarf and made my way down to Magnus' room. We were going shopping, which was going to be an adventure.

Magnus stepped out of his room in a flurry of multicoloured scarves, a white fedora with a red ribbon wrapped around on his head. He was wearing a brown trench coat, and held an umbrella with a question mark handle.

"Only you can pull quite a few Doctors together in one outfit and still look good," Simon said, passing us to get to the bathroom.

"Sass ass!" Magnus shouted after him.

"Whatever!"

I giggled, and Magnus and I started our walk towards the front door. As we walked, I saw that under tenths trench coat he was wearing elevenths trousers and suspenders, bowtie and all. I smiled at his fanatic Doctor Who love, and he caught me staring.

"So, pray tell, Miss Cain, how was thy date with Mister Jace?" he asked.

"It wasn't a date," I said.

"But…?"

"…We might have kissed."

"Oh my sweet hand Jesus!" He punched the air in front of us and laughed. "Did I not tell you that he liked you?"

"You did say that you had a feeling…"

"And my feelings are never wrong."

"Give over, Bane."

"Not a chance, Cain."

We got to the bus stop before either of us said anything else.

"Do you think he likes me, or Cain?" I asked.

"You," he said. "You are the Ianto Jones to his Captain Jack."

"But that means that one of us lives forever and the other will die of a deadly virus put in the air supply by the 456."

"Fine, you're the Gwen Cooper to his Rhys Matthews."

"Better," I said. "But I'd like to be his Toshiko."

"But that means that neither of you will tell each other how you feel until it's way too late and you both end up dying. You'll have broken your arm and been shot, and he'll have been shot and then slowly decayed by radioactive… stuff."

"Fine, I'll be his Gwen. At least I get kick ass boots."

"And a kick ass Best friend."

"You are me Captain Jack."

"I feel sad now, because all of my friend will have eventually died, and I'll just keep on going."

"But you'll have the Doctor."

"Yeah. Not all bad then."

I laughed as we walked into the shopping centre, and we walked aimlessly for hours on end. I broke down and bought this adorable floppy bunny plush teddy and a Sherlock tee-shirt that said, "I believe in Sherlock Holmes".

Magnus bought a lot of clothing, and I really didn't know where he got all the money, but he told me it was from his family. His dad had died after getting rich beyond belief, and all of it went to Magnus. Most of his clothes were sparkly and tight and colourful, but he bought an oversized sweatshirt and a pair of fuzzy pajama pants.

"For a rainy day," he explained.

I nodded, and we made our way to the food court. I got McDonalds while Magnus got a salad from this strange vegan place. He ended up eating most of my fries, his salad, an ice cream from DQ, an apple from a fruit stand and a small slice of pizza. He had bubble tea, (which was quite gross) a diet coke, (how can anyone stand diet?) a strawberry milkshake from Burger King and a frozen Mountain Dew from Taco Bell. Where all of it went, I have no idea. I had an ice cream, too, and a slice of pizza.

When we got back to the dorm, we flopped on the common room chairs just as Alec and Jace walked in.

"Sup?" Magnus asked.

Alec and Jace sat next to us, Alec quickly resting his head on Magnus' shoulder.

"Hey, what's up, honey?" Magnus asked.

"My parents," Alec mumbled. "They want to meet my friends from school. But I don't want them to, because that would make me seem kind of… mama's boy."

"Oh, come on. Just webcam them from your laptop."

"You think that'd work?"

"Yeah. Of course. Let them meet your friends and see some of the surrounding environment."

Alec nodded and went off to get his laptop.

"Shit!" I said, sitting up straight.

"What?" Jace said, his hand going to mine.

Magnus smiled weirdly. He looked a bit like a Silent.

"The Lightwood's. Their Izzy's parents."

Magnus' smile dropped. "Oh, shit. They know… Clary."

"Who's Clary?" Jace asked.

"My… sister," I said, patting his hand.

Alec walked back into the room with his laptop tucked under his arm.

"So?" Jace asked. "Why is it bad that they know your sister?"

I looked at Magnus, his brow furrowed. "Alec, sweetie, I think that maybe this isn't a good idea."

"Why?"

Magnus leaned to whisper in his ear.

"He'll be fine," Alec said quietly, his eyes on me.

Alec opened his laptop and logged into Skype.


	14. Chapter 14

PoV Clary

I shrank back in my seat as Alec opened up a video feed with his sister.

"Yo!" she said, smiling at us.

"Hey, Iz," Alec said. He moved the laptop so that we were in the frame. "You remember Jace."

"Hi, asshat!" she said cheerily.

"Right back at you, bitchscarf."

"Well," Alec said. "I know you know Cain, Clary's brother."

"Sup?" she asked, her smiled filled with laughter.

"Not much," I said. "How's my sister?"

"She's mysteriously turned into a boy and flew off to New York."

Jace laughed.

"And," Alec said, smiling. "I'd like you to meet the fabulous, magnificent Magnus Bane."

Magnus wrapped his arm around Alec's shoulders. "So this is Isabelle Lightwood. Pleased to make your acquaintance."

Isabelle chewed her lip. "Are you two…?"

"Yep," Magnus said, placing a small kiss on Alec's cheek, making the blue eyed boy blush.

"Are you Skyping for mom and dad? Cuz they're in the kitchen," Izzy said. "And, by the way, good for you, big brother."

"Big brother," Simon mimicked, walking in.

"Shut up, Mokuba!" I yelled.

"No!"

"Oh, and this is Simon." Alec turned the laptop towards my nerdy friend.

Simon smiled awkwardly.

"Hi," Isabelle said.

"Hi," Simon said.

"Well, I've had enough awkwardness to last a lifetime," Jace said. "Let's meet the parents."

Alec's parents were just as I remembered. Cold, hard, and intimidating. Izzy stood behind them as Alec repositioned the camera onto himself again.

"Hi mom, dad," he said.

"Alexander," Robert said. "Let's meet your friends, then."

Alec went through introducing us again, but paused before he got to Magnus. "Mom, dad, this is Magnus. My… my boyfriend."

"Hi," Magnus said sheepishly.

There was a quiet on the other side of the laptop. A chair was moved as someone hastily got up, and the sound of a door slamming.

"Dad!" Isabelle shouted as she got up.

"Well…" Maryse said. "It's nice to meet you, Magnus."

"You, too," he said quietly. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, don't be, please." Maryse shook her head. "Robert's just an old fool." She smiled at Magnus. "I hope you make Alec happy. He deserves it."

They talked for about an hour; an hour in which I fell asleep on Jace, and woke up wrapped up in my bed.

"Simon?" I asked.

"Nope," Jace said. "Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did," I mumbled.

"You know what I mean," he growled.

"What is it?"

"Why do you have a bra under your bed?"


	15. Chapter 15

PoV Clary

I sat up in my bed as Jace help up my sports bra.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Cain Fray, you've know me since I started here," I said.

"No, tell me the truth."

"Jace, I don't-"

"Stop lying!" He turned to me, his hands snapped forward to pull my shirt off. "What the fuck kind of guy wear's ace bandages? What the fuck kind of guy doesn't exist outside of this school?!"

"Fine!" I yelled back, grabbing for my shirt. "My name is Clary, and I am a girl! Is that what you fucking wanted?!"

"Why would you lie to me?!" he yelled, standing up. "You let me think that I was gay, that I was falling in love with a guy! What is this to you? Some sort of fucked up joke? Well, ha-ha, you got me! Got for fucking you!"

"Do you think I wanted you to fall in love with me?!" I yelled back, standing up to push him back. "Do you think that I wanted to fall in love with you? I tried to keep my head down this entire time, but you and you're detective brand friends just had to get all up in my business!"

Jace halted, his eyes growing wider. "You… you love me?"

"I… yeah…"

He sat down again, covering his face with his hands. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell."

"It's okay," I said, pulling my shirt back on. "Well, just… don't tell anyone, okay?"

"Yeah." Jace looked up at me, his golden eyes gleaming in the moonlight. He stood and kneeled in front of me, placing another kiss upon my lips. Wow, that sounds cheesy.

"I'd better get back to my room before Alec freaks out."

Simon walked into the room, but stopped mid-step at the scene in front of him. "Um… do I want to know?"

"Not really." I smiled up at him.

"Oh, and Jace, you might not want to go back to your room, Alec and Magnus are pretty busy in there," Simon said, nodding his head suggestively.

"Oh, come on!" Jace said.

Simon and I snorted.

"What?" Jace asked.

"Oh, cum on," Simon cackled.

"I'd tell you to stop the gay jokes, butt fuck it, no one listens," I laughed.

"Lesbi honest, gay jokes aren't all that funny," Jace contributed.

"I had another amnesia joke, but I forgot it," Simon combated.

"I have a vagina joke, but you'd never get it," I said.

"I had a virginity joke, but I lost it," Jace said.

"I have a shit joke, but it's really crappy," Simon said.

"I actually have a really bad joke, want to hear?" Jace said.

"Sure," Simon and I said.

"Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him... (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)...  
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis."

There was a pause, which was soon filled with our laughter.

"Oh my god, that was so bad!" I laughed, falling back against the wall.

"Well, I told you!" Jace said.

"He did," Simon agreed. "I just hope you don't tell it again, I might have to kill you."

Jace looked up at Simon, whose face had gone deadly serious.

Then they both proceeded to crack up again.

"So, we need to protect our little Clary from more people finding out her little secret?" Jace asked.

"That's about it," Simon said.

"I hate you both," I laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could you tell I ran out of ideas towards the end? But I still kind of like it. C:


	16. Chapter 16

PoV Clary

I opened my eyes as Simon opened the blinds. I squinted in the light and rolled over, moaning softly. Simon laughed and sat back down on his bed, pulling out a Torchwood magazine. He was one of the only people I knew, aside from Magnus, who bought that merchandise as well as watching the show.

"Come on, Goldie Locks, it's time to get up," Simon said.

"It's Saturday," I moaned. "I don't need to get up yet."

"You do if you're gonna catch the flight home for Thanksgiving," Simon snorted. "You are going home, right?"

"Shit, I don't know." I picked up my phone and called my mum.

She picked up on the third ring. "Hi, sweetie."

"Hey, mum, am I coming home for Thanksgiving?"

"I was going to Luke's," she said. I could hear her shuffling around the tiny flat. "But if you want to, it's fine. But you are coming home for Christmas."

"Yeah, Christmas. Um, I think I'll stay here. I mean, the flights in an hour and I'm still in bed, so…"

"Well, I'll see you at Christmas."

We hung up and I settled back into my bed. I was starting to drift off when our door banged open, revealing a half dressed Magnus. He had a small cat in his hands, and four shirts tucked under his arm.

"Clary," he said after closing the door, "I found my cat in my closet."

"Wouldn't you find Alec in a closet?" Simon asked, not looking up from his magazine.

"Zip it, rat boy," Magnus growled. "Clare, I don't know what to do! We're not allowed pets. And it's been, like, three months since that start of school, so I don't know what he's been eating."

"Well, just send him home," I said. "You have a friend who looks after him, right?"

"Yes." He gasped. "That little bitch! She hasn't even called me to say that Chairman went missing! I bet she didn't even go to my house to check on him!"

"Chairman?" Simon asked, pushing his glasses up. "Who calls there cat Chairman?"

"Chairman Meow, if you must know." Magnus looked indignant, sitting down on the edge of my bed. "But, Clary, what do I do?"

"Hide him. In your room."

"Like Odd did in Code Lyoko," Simon mumbled, his attention back on the magazine.

"What?" Magnus looked at me, confused. "What's Code Lyoko?"

"French TV show," I said. "But that's the general idea. Keep Chairman Meow in your room, feed him from the cafeteria, and take him outside often enough to do him business."

"Chairman Meow is not a dog. He doesn't do his business outside, he doesn't eat table scraps and he has his own little room in my flat, he wouldn't like sharing with me."

There was a silence in which both Simon and I looked at Magnus, wide eyed and astounded.

"That cat has its own room?" Simon asked. "I had to share a room with my sister for three years before I got my own room. You have a room for your cat?"

"It was a small walk-in closet that I didn't need," Magnus said, completely unaware of how strange this conversation topic was to us. "I put all these climbing frames and cat beds in and he has his own little litter box and a water fountain and everything a cat could need."

Again, Simon and I were silent.

There was a knock at the door again, and Magnus quickly hid Chairman Meow under a pillow. Jace and Alec walked in, and Magnus sighed, releasing Chairman Meow from his pillow.

"You have a cat," Alec said, sitting behind Magnus and wrapping his arms around his normally sparkly boyfriend.

"He has a room for his cat," Simon said, trying to portray how strange it was to us.

"My cats have their own room," Alec said. "It's like a play room, with climbing frames and beds."

"My hawk has its own room," Jace said, sitting next to me in my bed. "It's our bird sanctuary."

"Well, that's a bird, it's different than a cat," Simon said. "What is it with rich people and pampering their pets?"

"I'm not rich," Alec said.

"I am," Magnus said.

"Yeah, he too," Jace said.

"Alec, you live in a three story house with six bedrooms and a guest house out back," I said. "You're rich."

"I thought… A lot of people had that stuff…"

"Alec, I live in a two bedroom flat with my mum," I said. "The kitchen and the dining room are the same, and the living room is half the size of our kitchen, which barely fits a fridge, a sink and an oven. No, not everyone else is rich."

"Not that I don't love talking about money, but could we get back to my cat?" Magnus asked. "I need to keep him somewhere!"

"Keep him in your room until Christmas break, take him home and then set him free," Simon said, exasperated.

"Set him free?" Magnus said. "Like, into the wild?"

Simon's eyebrows slowly crept up into his hairline. "I'm done," he said, getting up. "I'm fucking done." He slammed the door on his way out.

"What did I do?" Magnus said.


	17. Chapter 17

PoV Clary

I looked for Simon everywhere, and finally found him deep in the bowls of the school. He was in the library, reading a book on ancient Egypt. He looked up and smiled when I sat down.

"Hey," he said.

"What's wrong?" I asked. "What made you storm off?"

"Your friends. They're all rich and posh and incredibly handsome." He sighed, taking his glasses off. "And look at me. I'm… average."

"Simon, you're not average." I put my hand over his. "Simon, you're smart and funny and sassy, why would you ever think you're average?"

"Because I don't have money to buy whatever I want and whatever my friends want, I don't have movie star good looks that make everyone fall in love with me. I don't have a house big enough to fit a circus in, and I don't have three separate rooms for my clothes. I don't have an amazing girlfriend who would step in front of a bullet for me, I don't have anything."

"You have amazing friends who make you laugh, you have drop dead gorgeous eyes, you have a loving family, you have people around you who love you. Jace and Alec and Magnus might have money, but Alec isn't loved by his parents, at least not by his dad, Jace doesn't have a mom, his dad treats him like a soldier. Magnus' parents are both dead, his dad tried to kill him and his mom was too depressed to look after him. Jace's only friends are Alec and me, and now you and Magnus. Before we came along, Alec's only friend was Jace. Magnus may have been popular and had a different boy in his bed every night, but he had no friends.

"You have Matt and Eric and all those other boys who'd give there lived protecting you, you have me, who'd sure as hell take a bullet for you." I was grasping his hand tightly, but he didn't seem to care. "You have a mom and sister who care the world of you, you have a family here who will look after you, and-"

Simon leaned forwards and kissed me.

I sat in silence, waiting for him to pull away. He did, and looked down at our hands.

"I like you," he whispered. "Ever since I figured out you were a girl. Ever since I realized I'd known you before, I've liked you. Clary… I love you."

I sat, staring at him, at his wide brown eyes, his curly brown hair, his pretty face. I looked down at our hands, intertwined on the table. He didn't let go, but neither did I. I kept holding his hands, feeling their warmth, feeling his pulse beat through his fingers.

"Simon," I said. "I… I love you, too."

"You do?"

"Yeah." I smiled. "And I know you."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I know what getting into."

"Aren't you dating Jace?"

"I don't know. We kissed a bit, but we never made it official. I mean, he told me he loved me, and I told him I loved him, but it was sort of all in the heat of the moment and I don't know."

His face was shocked for a moment, and then he burst out laughing. "I'm sorry," he said through giggles. "I'm sorry, but you are so cute."

"I am?" I asked. "As Clary or as Cain?"

"Well…" Simon said. "Both."

"Wait…" I said, pulling a fake confused face. "You gay?"

"I'm bi." He smiled. "So, I liked you from when I met you."

"Are we…?"

"Dating?" he asked. "Do you want to?"

"Well, kind of, yes." I smiled. "We could be public about it, too."

"Yeah," he said. "Eric already thinks we are. So, why not?"

"Okay." I smiled.

"What about Jace?"

"Leave him to me."


	18. Chapter 18

PoV Clary

I didn't think I could take the look on Jace's face for even a second longer, so I turned my head down.

"But…" he said. "What about us?"

"What about us?" I mumbled.

"We… we had something, Clary," he said, taking hole of my upper arms. "We have something, Clary."

"We kissed, once, and then nothing came of it." I didn't look up at him.

"But… I said I love you."

I looked up at him. "You always get your way, don't you, Jace?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"You wouldn't be this upset if it were you starting a new relationship. You would give a shit about me, or my feelings, but as soon as I find someone else, it's all about you. You hate losing."

"Clary…" It came out a barely a whisper, his breath ghosting over my cheeks. He brought me close to his chest, wrapping his arms around me. "I love you, no matter what you think." He lifted my chin with a thin, elegant finger, and kissed me softly.

A spark went through my chest, trailing down to my fingers and toes. I put my hands on the sides of his face, deepening our kiss. A sudden pain sparked through my back as Jace pushed me against the wall.

"No," I said, pushing him away.

"You can't deny that you felt something," he said, slightly out of breath. "You love me, and you know it."

"I don't know what to feel, Jace!" I sighed and shook my head. "I don't need this."

I walked away, hearing the door close behind me, feeling rotten inside.

What do I do?


	19. Chapter 19

PoV Clary

I waited by the lunch tables outside for Magnus. He was supposed to be meeting me here, to talk about my Simon and Jace situation. I shivered in my hoodie as I sat on the picnic bench, tucking my hands under my arms to keep them warm.

"I've only got a few minutes," Magnus said, coming up behind me, a thin, unlit cigarette in his mouth. "What do you want?"

"Hello to you, too," I said.

"Seriously, Clary, I can't take your crap today."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Clary, did you know that Jace is really cut up about what you did to him? I was hanging out with Alec when Jace came back after talking to you and he was on the verge of tears. Tears, Clarissa. Jace. Doesn't. Cry."

"Hey, it's not my fault!" I yelled, even though I knew it was.

"Okay, then. I'll go tell Jace that you don't care that you made him cry. That you don't care about him." He stood abruptly and started back towards the school.

"Magnus!" I yelled, running after him. "I do care! I just… I need someone to tell me what to do."

Magnus sighed and turned to face me. "Clary, there won't always be some there to tell you what to do. You have to figure things out on your own."

"Magnus, that day will come, I know it will, but tell me what to do!"

"Stop relying on others to make your mind up for you. Choose the boy that loves you, or the boy that loves the idea of you."

"What do you mean, "the idea of me"?"

"Simon loves what you are, the idea that there is this adventurous girl in his life that wants to make things different. He loves the idea that you were his friend before Jace and that you picked him over the Golden Boy. He doesn't love you, Clary, not in that way. He may think he does, but he will lose interest in you when you become this normal girl to him. Jace loves you. He loves the little quirks you have, the way your nose flairs when you laugh, the way that your freckles dance when you smile."

"My freckles what?"

"Don't ask me, it's what he said last night. You know, when he was crying?"

"Magnus, just tell me what to do!"

"No! Choose your own boy and leave me out of this! I honestly couldn't care less, I dislike Simon and I dislike Jace. Why should it make a difference to me?"

"Fine, don't be any help! Fuck you, Magnus Bane, fuck you!"

His upper lip curled and he shook his head at me. "You're pathetic."

He turned and walked back to the school, flicking his cigarette away.

I waited until he was gone from my sight and walked into the building, scowling and feeling, just as Magnus had said, pathetic.


	20. Chapter 20

PoV Clary

I paced around the small space between Simon's bed and mine. I was waiting for him. It seemed like I was doing a lot of waiting today. First for Magnus, now for Simon. I just wanted to talk to Simon, ask him if what Magnus said was really true. That Simon loved the thought of dating me more than he actually loved me. Maybe it was because he felt safe with me. I felt safe with him, I wasn't taking any risks, and I was even kind of lowering my standards. I felt so cruel thinking that that I bit my tongue, drawing blood.

I started as Simon threw open the door.

He smiled at me. "Hi, cutie."

"Hi, Simon," I said. "Listen… We need to talk."

His face fell. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No!" My eyes widened with shock as he flopped down onto his bed, resting his head in his hands.

"What did I do?" he whispered.

I sat next to him, and pat his back. "It's not you, it's-"

"Oh, please don't use that line on me," Simon said. "The "It's not you, it's me" one."

"I was gonna say it's not you, it's something Magnus said."

He looked up at me, scowling. "What does that glittery prick have to do with our relationship?"

"That glittery prick is my best friend," I snapped. "And he said that you only want to date me because of the idea of dating me is appealing. That once you get to really know me, you won't want me."

"That's absurd!" Simon said, standing up. "I love you!"

"Really?" I asked, standing up. He was almost half a foot taller than me. "Then why did you want to date me?"

"Because we were friends and we like each other and you're cute and you… you get me."

"Simon, how does the fact that we knew each other have anything to do with us dating?"

He sat back down, deflated. "Clary, with you, I feel safe, I feel like I can be who I am."

"When we kissed, how did it feel?"

"Warm. Like a kiss."

"Did you feel sparks travelling down your spine, into your finger tips and your toes?"

"I… no, I didn't."

"Then you don't love me."

"Oh."

We sat in silence, him on his bed, me on mine. We stayed like that for a few minutes, and then I realized that Simon was crying.

"Simon, please don't cry."

He wiped his eyes.

"It's just that Jonathan said something like this would happen. That you'd break my heart."

"Who's Jonathan?" I asked, getting a cold, heavy feeling in my chest.

"You know Sebastian?"

"Of course," I snapped. "You know that one who tried to rape me?"

"I know, but I was… oh forget it. He has a brother. You met him in the beginning of the year. He was the one that said all girls were good for was sex."

"I thought… they were the same person…"

"Yeah, that's why you started calling him a different name in the middle of the year. He's better than his brother, but he's just as creepy. Don't you wonder why he's still walking around the school?"

"I… never noticed."

Simon nodded and sighed. "Well, go on, then."

"What?"

"Go talk to Jace!"


	21. Chapter 21

PoV Clary

So I did. I went to talk to Jace. I knocked on his door and waited. Again more waiting. I shook my head. Stop thinking about waiting!

Alec opened the door and peered down at me sleepily through his long black lashed. "Can I help you?"

"Where's Jace?" I asked.

"Somewhere…" Alec yawned. "The library, I think."

"Thank you!" I flashed him a smile and set of running down the hallway towards the library.

When I got there, I found Jace in the sports section.

"Jace!" I said, earning a "SHUSH!" from the librarian.

"What?" he whispered.

"I came to say I'm sorry," I whispered, pushing a lock of hair behind my ear. "I mean it, Jace, I'm sorry."

"That's great for you." Jace moved further down into the aisle, trying to get away from me. I just followed.

"Jace, I broke up with Simon," I said.

He stopped and looked at me, his eyes wide. "What?"

"I choose you." I smiled. "I would choose you before everyone else."

He smiled, and caught himself. His face went back to a blank slate, no emotions showing. "So?"

"Jace, you just smiled." I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around him, feeling his warmth. I placed a kiss on his cheek and rested my head on his shoulder. His arms wound their way around me and he held me tightly.

"Please don't leave me again, Clary," he whispered into my hair.

"I won't."

I felt something wet drop onto my cheek. I looked up at Jace to find him crying.

"What's wrong?" I asked, startled.

"Nothing," Jace said. "I'm just so happy."


	22. Chapter 22

PoV Clary

When Jace and I finished hugging, he and I made our way back to his room.

"Hold on," I said, as we got to the door. "I just want to let Simon know we're still friends, me and him."

"Okay," Jace said reluctantly, and he followed me to my room.

I opened the door to find Simon reading a book, his glasses pushed up to the top of his head.

"Hi," I said, standing in the door way.

He looked up at me and smiled. "Hi."

"We're still friends, yeah?"

"Yeah. As long as you can set me up with that cute black haired friend of yours."

"Isabelle?" Jace asked. "Dude, she'd walk all over you in high heeled boots."

Simon glared at Jace. "How do you know?"

"Dude, she's my sister."

"I thought…. She was Alec's sister," I said.

"I…. yeah, I meant she's like my sister."

"Whatever," Simon said, returning to his book. It was a Torchwood novel. "I'm just joking, by the way. About the girl. You two have fun, now. Use protection. Don't have a baby."

"You sick fuck," I laughed.

Simon looked up at me and smiled a genuine smile. "Would you want me any other way?"

I laughed again and walked away, closing the door behind me. Jace took my hand and pulled me towards his room. We opened the door and found Magnus and Alec curled up together on Alec's bed, both asleep.

"We'd better be quiet," Jace whispered.

"Shut up," Magnus murmured. "So, you two have made up, yeah?"

"Yeah," I said. "I'm sorry about earlier, Magnus."

"Ah, it's fine," he said, sitting up. "Lots of people want to fuck me, Clarissa."

"What?" Jace asked, looking up from his bed, which he was trying to make even neater.

"Nothing," I said.

"Okay…." He said, going back to his bed.

"Clary, if you ever need help again, I will help, it's just that I haven't had the best of days."

"What happened?" I asked.

"Chairman Meow," Magnus said. "He got found in the boys' bathroom, and I had to send him home."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Magnus." I patted his shoulder. "But it's probably better if he's at home."

"I hired a maid to take care of him, so I think you're right," Magnus said, blowing his hair out of his eyes. "And I'm not going to pay my other friend when I get home. She could have killed my poor cat if he had actually been at home."

I nodded. "That's good."

"So, you going home for Christmas?" Magnus asked.

"I am," I said.

"What about you guys?"

"Yes," said Magnus. "It'll just be me and Chairman Meow, but yeah."

"I told you, you're coming with me," Alec mumbled from behind Magnus. "You and me and Izzy are going to have Christmas together."

I sat back and listened to Alec and Magnus plan their holiday, and snuggled next to Jace.

I was happy.


	23. Chapter 23

The idea for the dance came from MrsTateLangdon, a very nice person and author. Go check her out! C: If you want to see your ideas in the fic, just hit me up with a PM!

PoV Clary

It was just a few weeks before Christmas, and everyone was getting overly excited. Mistletoe had started popping up all over the school, and if you got caught beneath it with a fellow classmate, the other students would block your path until you kissed. But everyone learned to avoid these areas of the halls. I thought it was hilarious, and Magnus used them at every opportunity to give Alec a kiss. Alec acted embarrassed and angry, but he loved it almost as much as Magnus.

Magnus and Alec made plans to go over to Alec's for Christmas and spend the holiday there. Jace was going to spend Christmas morning with his dad, but after lunch, head over to his moms. Simon was going back to Philadelphia, where he was spending Christmas with his mom and sister. Well, sort of. Simon's Jewish, so he doesn't really celebrate Christmas. He set up a menorah in our room and gave me a present with every day. I didn't know what to do, so I made Magnus drive me to the mall, (we may or may not have supposed to be in class…) and I bought him lots of socks and books. So, Simon is going home to spend the break with his family.

I'm going home to spend Christmas with my mom and her fiancé Luke. He's been my mom's friend for so long, and I'm amazed it took this long for him to propose. I'm happy for them, though, and I'm glad that my mom's happy.

I was walking down the hall way when something caught my eyes. It was a poster for the Winter Formal. Jace stopped beside me and chuckled.

"Yeah, we have one every year," he said. "It's kind of lame."

"I want to go," I whispered. "I've never been able to go before."

"You've never been to a Winter Formal?"

"No. It always cost too much. And I never had a dress."

"What about the one you wore at Hallowe'en?" Jace whispered.

"Thrift shop."

"Oh, gross."

I turned to him, putting my hands on his shoulders. "Please, pretty, pretty please, take me to the dance."

Jace smiled. "Anything for my princess."

"Jace, you do know that if we go together, everyone will think you're gay."

"Like I care." He scoffed and smiled even brighter. "I just want to be with you. Clary or Cain, it doesn't matter."

"Oh, Jace." I wanted to hug him, but we were getting strange looks from just the shoulder holding. "I promise that I will make it up to you, one way or another."

He smirked. "I think I know a way."

I blushed and smiled. "We have to go shopping for suits."

"That we do. I know a really good place to buy the best suits."

"They can't be too expensive. I… I don't have much money."

"I'll buy you one."

The hallway was almost empty, just a few stragglers, going to class or lunch.

"We're going to be late for class," I said, sliding my hands down his arms. He pulled me closer and kissed me, his lips soft and sweet. I could taste his toothpaste, spearmint. He wrapped his arms around my waist, his hands coming to a rest at the small of my back. I smiled into the kiss, but broke away when the bell rang. "We're late."

"You have lunch," Jace said. "I have class."

He stepped back, and I frowned. He chuckled and took my hand, pulling me away from the poster.

"I'll buy the tickets, yeah?" I said.

"You buy the tickets, and then we'll go suit shopping," Jace said. "God, I sound like Magnus. Oh my good golly gosh, let's go shopping!"

"Magnus doesn't sound like that," I said.

"Sure." Jace pushed me towards the cafeteria. "I'll see you later, yeah?"

"See you later."


	24. Chapter 24

PoV Clary

Magnus smiled quietly when I told him Jace was taking me to the Winter Formal.

"But what I don't get," I said, "is how you can have a dance with all boys."

"We normally invite people from other schools, Cain," Alec said.

"You can call her Clary," Magnus said, running his hand over Alec's forehead, into his hair.

"Where'd you get all the rings?" Alec asked.

"Home," Magnus said with a yawn. "I had my new cat nanny send them over."

"Who are you going to the dance with?" I asked.

Alec and Magnus looked at me, their faces blank. Alec's crystal blue eyes were bored looking, while Magnus' forest green eyes were filled with the laughter that was under the surface.

"Oh," I said. "Right… Each other."

Magnus nodded, a ringed hand slipping under the fabric to Alec's cotton button up.

"I'm gonna… go…" I got up and walked out, walking to my room, only to find Jace blocking the door.

"We're going shopping!" he said, putting on a stereotypical gay voice.

"YAY!" I said, clapping my hands together.

We're going shopping!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dance idea = MrsTateLangdon


	25. Chapter 25

PoV Clary

It must have been about twenty three degrees outside the school. I stuffed my hands into my pockets as I waited for Jace to hurry up, and we could then go shopping. I shuffled around in a circle, trying to keep myself warm.

"Hey, baby," Jace said, joining me in the cold.

"What took you so long?" I asked.

"I was looking for my wallet, putting on a fresh shirt, taking out my winter coat, making sure that Alec didn't have sex on my bed and making sure I had my credit card." He slipped his hand into my pocket and entwined our fingers. "Let's get going, before I freeze my important parts off."

We walked to the student parking lot and got into his car, which was shiny and looked like something Tony Stark would drive. I'm not that good with cars, so I can't really tell you what kind it was. Maybe a de Lorain? Or a Toyota? I don't know.

We listened to Jace's iPod on the way to the mall, which was quite an adventure. Songs varied from Last Night by Skillet and Teenagers by MCR, to Paparazzi by Lady Gaga and You, me, and your friend Steve by Garfunkel and Oates. Which are all awesome, by the way.

When we got to the mall, Jace pulled me along until we got to a really fancy looking suit shop. We entered, and immediately a store hand came up to us.

"Hello!" he said, his voice strikingly similar to Jace's gay voice. "How may I help you two fine gentlemen today?"

"We're looking for suits for the Winter Formal at Greenwood Institute," Jace said.

"Oh," the teen looked crestfallen. "Who are the lucky ladies?"

Jace put his arm around me and smiled. The guy's eyes light up again.

"Well!" he said happily. "Do you want matching suits, or something different for both?"

"Just plain black, please," I said.

The store hand looked down at me, his green eyes glaring at me, like he was trying to say, "How dare you interrupt my conversation with Mr. Hot!"

Jace's arm tightened around me, and we walked further into the store with Mr. Jealous Store Hand. He pulled out suits for us, and we tried them all on. They were really nice, and I fell in love with the first. It was a normal black suit jacket and pants, but the shirt was a pale purple, and the tie was bright blue. It was awesome!

Jace was a little pickier. He tried on each and posed in front of the mirror, turning this way and that, but he didn't seem to like any of the suits that were picked. Mr. Jealous Store Hand was getting more and more excited.

"I will keep looking for you, sir!" he said, and he waddled off towards the back of the store.

"He hates me," I said.

"Yep," Jace agreed. "I think if I were gay, I'd still dislike him."

I laughed a little, holding onto my suit.

"You ready to buy that?" Jace asked. "We can go get it if you want, and I'll look in a different store."

"Okay," I said. "Thank you, Jace."

"No problem, Cain." Mr. Jealous Store Hand had come back with a few more suits.

"I'm sorry I took so long!" he said. "But I think these will look really good on you!"

"I'm sorry, but we're going to buy his suit and then leave," Jace said, placing his hands on my shoulders.

We bought the suit, and left, and went on to other stores.

Jace bought his suit in the fifth shop, and then we finally went home.

Alec and Magnus were sprawled in the snow outside the school, laughing and making snow angels. They smiled when they saw us and followed us inside. Jace pulled out his suit and showed it off to Alec, while Magnus and I talked about mine.

"It's really pretty!" Magnus said. "Are you going to get a haircut before you get back?"

"Huh?" I raised a hand to my hair, and felt how long it was. "I guess it is getting a bit long…"

So Magnus and I made a plan to go to get our hair cut when we got back.


	26. Chapter 26

PoV Clary

I fixed my tie for the fourth time and waited for Jace to show up at the door. Simon was competing with me for the mirror, his hand in my hair, trying to push me away. I elbowed him in the stomach and told him to shove off. He grumbled and went to turn on his music. He nodded his head along with My Chemical Romance and tied his shoes.

I tried to straighten my hair again, but it had reached that length where it was too long to do anything with, but too short to do anything with, as well. I sighed and sat next to Simon, tugging at my tie.

"You look fine, Clary," he said, smiling at me.

I smiled weakly. "Thanks."

He smiled again, his coffee brown eyes warm and gentle. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and squeezed. "And if Jace pushes you to do anything you don't want to do, just kick him in the nuts. It hurts like a bitch."

"I know," I said, laughing.

There was a knock at the door, and Simon opened it, revealing Jace, stood in his beautiful black tux. Beside him, Isabelle. I smiled at her, confused.

"When did you get here?" I asked.

"This morning," she said. "Jace asked me to come over, so I could take someone to this winter dance thingy."

I looked at Jace. "Who?"

He nodded his head inside the room, at Simon. "For stealing his girl."

"But I'm not an object," Isabelle said. "You will treat me with respect, yeah?"

Simon nodded, his mouth slightly agape, his eyes wide behind his wonky glasses. I laughed, and pulled him into the hall way. That's when I noticed Alec and Magnus, propped up against the wall. Alec was looking grumpy at his sister's dress, glaring from Jace to Simon. As we passed, he prodded a finger into Simon's chest.

"Hurt her," he rumbled, "and I will grind your nuts into dust. Nut Dust."

Simon nodded, his hands moving closer to his groin.

Magnus put a hand on Alec's shoulder, laughter in his yellow green eyes. His suit was powder blue, with a white button up shirt underneath. His hair also blue and he looked remarkably like T.O.P. from BigBang, the Korean pop group. Wow, that sounds like I'm trying to trying to sell them to you. I'm not.

Magnus took Alec's hand and led him to the Limo he rented for us. The dance was at a local hotel, like a Prom, but… not. Simon held the door open for Isabelle, who smiled and bushed. I got in after them, and took hold of Jace's hand. He smiled and pulled me close, and the limo driver set off.

I was strangely nervous about the dance.


	27. Chapter 27

PoV Clary

I was sat next to Jace, his arm wrapped around my shoulders, while Simon talked awkwardly at Isabelle, who had a glazed look in her eyes. I wanted to punch her. I could see that Simon wasn't good at talking to her, at talking to girls in general, except for me. She smiled when he laughed shrilly, and I felt Jace flinch a little.

"Isabelle, where did you get that dress?" Magnus asked, interrupting Simon.

"Oh, this old thing?" Isabelle asked, her eyes shining again, pointing down to her dress. "I found it in the back of my closet. I think it's from, like, three years ago."

Simon looked a little deflated. "You look really nice, Isabelle."

He had said it quietly, so that I had to strain to hear him. But Isabelle heard him, and she smiled. "Really?" She looked down at her black dress that clung to her body in all the right places. It stopped midway down her thighs, and was sleeveless. "I didn't really think it'd look good on me. It would look so much better on Clary."

"I think it really suits you," Simon said a little louder, looking pleased. He took something out of his pocket. "This would look nice in your hair." It was a small hair pin, with a silver rose on it. "It belonged to my grandma. It was the only thing she had when she moved to America."

"Wow," Isabelle said, looking at it. "This is really beautiful. Why do you have it?"

"She gave it to me. Told me to give it to a pretty girl."

Jace snorted, and Simon shot him a glare. Isabelle put the clip in her hair, and smiled at Simon. There was an awkward silence in which Simon and Izzy looked down at their feet, and Alec glared at Simon.

"Well, you can tell everyone's really excited about the dance," Jace whispered in my ear.

I put my hand over my mouth to cover my laughter.

Magnus looked bored, and stroked his powder blue side burns. I could hear him humming, and Alec turned to him, placed his hand on Magnus' thigh and kissed him.

Izzy laughed and blushed, looking down at her feet again. Simon looked on with an expression somewhere between interest and disgust. Jace groaned and buried his head in my neck, turning away from his friends. I looked at Simon, whose head was now tilted to the side, and he didn't look at all disgusted.

"Am I the only one oddly turned on by this?" Simon blurted out, and then went very red in the face.

"Are you gay?" Jace asked, looking from Izzy to me. "Is he gay?"

"I'm bi," Simon said. "I've already been over this with you."

"No, only me," I said.

"Wait, you like guys?" Izzy asked. Her face split with a wide grin. 'I'm going to have to fight to keep you."

I laughed at Alec's face. He had stopped kissing Magnus when Simon had blurted out his statement, and went from looking happy that Simon didn't like girls, confused at why he was happy about that, and now he was looking rather angry at Simon. I could almost read his thoughts on his face Don't you dare hurt her- and stay away from Magnus.

I laughed aloud as everyone stared back and forth between each other. Jace kissed my cheek and I turned to him, and he kissed me again, his lips soft and gentle on mine. I placed a hand on his cheek and heard Simon groan.

"Is everyone just going to kiss all the way to the dance?" he asked

"Yeah," Izzy said. "It's weird, watching my brothers kiss people."

I pulled away from Jace. "Brothers?"

Izzy went red in the cheeks. "I… I meant brother."

I looked back at Jace who was looking at me. He leaned forward and whispered into my ear, "I'll tell you after the dance."


	28. Chapter 28

PoV Clary

The limo pulled up in front of the hotel and Jace opened the door. He helped me get out, and then the others followed. We presented out tickets to the man in front of the doors, and went in. We were being ushered towards the main ball room, which was half cleared for a dance floor. Jace's hand was trembling slightly in mine. He was nervous about everyone's reactions, even if he said he wasn't.

There were people looking at us, mostly girls from other schools. I squeezed Jace's hand and pulled him towards a table. He smiled gorgeously, and sat next to me. Alec and Magnus joined us at the table, while Isabelle and Simon went to meet Simon's friends. Alec kept looking over at them, squinting his eyes to see if Simon was hurting his sister.

"She'll be fine, Alec," Magnus said, placing a hand on Alec's shoulder.

Alec flinched, and Magnus removed his hand. He sighed as Izzy and Simon joined us, along with Matt and Eric.

"I always thought you were straight, dude," Eric said to Jace.

"Show's you have mush you don't know a person," Jace replied coolly. "I know that it must come as a shock, but I'm not an open book."

"Naw, it's cool, man." Eric nodded at his statement. "I mean, it's not like there's anything wrong with it."

"You didn't say that when Cain told you about his first time," Simon said.

"Yeah, but that's sex, and I don't need to hear about that." Eric shook his head. "Just don't let Kirk know you're gay, he'll kick up a storm about it."

I nodded as he stood up.

"I'm gonna go get some punch. You want some, Matt?"

"I'll come with you."

Izzy stood up, too, I'm going to the bathroom," she started. "Simon, would you get me a drink?"

"Sure," he said, and left.

Alec stood and mumbled something about the bathroom.

"Well, if it's going to be a mass exodus," Magnus mumbled. He stood gracefully and walked off towards some old friends of his and pouted.

"I thought this'd be a happier event," Jace said.

"Me, too," I mumbled. "I have to go to the bathroom." I leaned over and placed a kiss on Jace's cheek, and walked to the bathroom.

I'd gotten used to walked into the men's room at school and on field trips, so here it wasn't any different. I walked into a stall and did my business, and walked out to wash my hands.

"I heard that you came tonight with Jace Wayland," came a voice from behind me.

Turning, I saw Kirk, one of Simon's massive friends.

"Yes," I said.

"That's gay," he said. "I don't like gay."

And he swung his right fist at my face. His knuckles connected heavily with my cheek, sending me sprawling across the room. He chuckled and picked me up by the back of my shirt, and slammed me into one of the mirrors. The mirror cracked and my forehead bled, but Kirk kept hitting me. I was in huddled in a corner, Kirk kicking my stomach, when Alec walked in.

"What are you doing?" he asked; a confused, almost bored look on his face.

"I'm teaching this gay a lesson," Kirk growled.

"Oh," Alec said, and walked over. "Mind if I have a go?"

Kirk stepped back and Alec lifted me to my feet.

"Now," Alec said. "What's two plus two?"

"Four," I mumbled, confused.

"Good, and four plus four?"

"Eight?"

"Yes, it is." Alec smiled, turned to Kirk, and punched him in the face. "If you have a problem with gays, please tell me. Because me and my boyfriend would gladly beat you up."

I chuckled as Kirk, holding his nose, ran out of the bathroom. Alec grabbed a bunch of paper towels and started to clean the blood from my face.

"Oh, are you okay?" he mumbled, in uncharacteristic sympathy.

"Yeah," I mumbled back. "It's just my forehead that's bleeding."

"How's your stomach?" He threw away the paper towels. "He looked like he was kicking pretty hard."

"I'm fine, Alec," I said. "Thank you."

"We'd better go to our table."

"Magnus is pissed at you," I said as he wrapped an arm around my waist. He was stooped at an awkward angle, as he was much taller than me. "He wants to dance, I think."

"And I'll dance with him; I just need to get you back to the table."

I nodded as he walked me over to the table. Jace looked up and rushed over, his chair tipping back in his haste.

"What happened?" he asked, taking me from Alec.

"Kirk, Simon's giant of a friend," Alec said. "Wanted to teach the gay a lesson."

"Shit," Jace mumbled.

We sat and Alec went over to Magnus, who came over to our table at a half run.

"Sweetie, are you alright?" he asked. "I'm going to go get a teacher."

"No, please don't," I said. "I don't want to give him more incentive."

Magnus looked weary, but sat down next to Alec. "Okay."

The night wasn't actually all that bad. Jace and I danced, Alec and Magnus danced. I felt like it was an okay night. Now is only I knew what was up with Jace.


	29. Chapter 29

PoV Clary

I rested my head on Jace's shoulder as we headed back to the school, quietly content with myself. Sure, I got beat up, and sure, I hurt all over, but over all, it had been a good night. I opened my eyes as Jace started to run his hand through my hair, and I smiled up at him. He smiled back softly, and kissed my forehead.

"Hey, Jace," Alec said. "Would you mind, um… Staying in Clary's room tonight?"

"Why?" Jace asked.

"I wanted to spend some time with Magnus," Alec said, his cheeks rapidly turning scarlet.

"I don't see how me being there or not has anything to do with that." Jace had a look of confusion on his face, his golden eyes clouded with puzzlement.

"Oh, my god," Magnus sighed. "Jace, please stay away from the room, we want to have sex."

Jace's cheeks gained a tint of pink. "Oh." He coughed, trying to regain his manliness. "Yeah, sure, whatever."

Izzy and Simon were giggling to themselves, covering their mouth with their hands. I laughed out loud, looking at the scowl on Jace's face.

When we pulled up to the school, Magnus nearly pulled Alec's arm out of its socket as he shot out of the limo. Izzy laughed loudly, and a little drunkenly, as Alec stumbled out after his sparkly boyfriend. Simon followed Izzy and I was followed by Jace. I started in the direction of my room, but Jace grabbed my arm.

"It's after the dance," he said, his voice suddenly calm and serious.

I nodded, and we made our way through the snow to the little gazebo outside of the science wing. The hem of my trousers was soaked, and my feet were frozen, but we kept going. When He sat down, I felt like I couldn't sit next to him. Like there was an invisible barrier between us.

"Listen," he said, "what I said before, about my parents, their house, my mum getting remarried. I lied."

"Oh," I said stupidly. "That's okay."

"No, Clary, it's not," he said. "I just wanted to seem cool, to impress you."

"Well, it worked," I said, smiling.

Jace let out a bark of humorless laughter. "Yeah."

I sighed, and looked around into the night. The sky was crystal clear, the stars little pin pricks of light in the ink black.

"When I was ten, two men broke into my house and killed my dad," Jace said.

I slowly turned my head back to him, my face blank of emotion.

"I was hidden in the closet under the stairs, and the left without finding me. I remember finding him, slumped forward at his writing desk, his eyes open. His throat was slit."

"Jace," I whispered, starting to feel tears prick at the back of my eyes. "Please. You don't have to."

He didn't seem to hear me. "I call the police and they sent me to live with my only relatives. My mum and her new husband, with their three kids. Three weeks after I moved in, they were in a car crash, and my mum died. Her husband and two of her kids were brain dead. It was me and Molly, my step sister, who survived relatively unscathed. " He took a deep breath and I saw tears glitter in his eyes.

A dam broke in my and I started to cry, and I rushed to his side, wrapping my arms around him. He slid his arms around me and cried into my shoulders. He didn't make a noise, he just shook.

"What happened to Molly?" I asked quietly.

"She was sent to a family in Canada." Jace wiped the back of his hand across his eyes. "I still get emails from her every few days, and she seems happy."

"And you?"

"I got sent to live with the Lightwood's. They had recently lost a child, and they wanted to do something for someone who's lost a parent. His name was Max."

"What happened to him?" I asked, realizing I already knew the answer.

"He was kidnapped, and then killed." Jace sniffed. "He was barely a toddle, he was only one year old."

"Izzy's little brother," I mumbled. "I knew that."

I pulled him closer and let him cry; let myself cry. I had never felt so open with anyone in one moment, and I knew that me and Jace were taking a new leap forward. We really trusted each other, with our secrets, our fears.

After a few minutes of cry (and maybe some kissing0, we made our way back to Jace's room.

"Wait," I said, placing a hand on his arm.

"What?" he asked.

I placed my ear against the door, and, upon hearing nothing, opened it.

"Oh, right, Alec and Mags," Jace said.

They weren't in the room, though. The beds were both made and the room was clean.

"Maybe they went to Magnus' room," I said, and we started out the door.

"Wait," Jace said, replicating my actions from the not so distant past.

He knelt in front of the door and touched the cold tile with the tips of his fingers. When he brought them back up, they were covered in something black and shiny. I reach and turned on the light, and the black became dark red.

Blood.


	30. Chapter 30

PoV Clary

Jace bolted down the hall to Magnus's room, shouldering open the door. A rather unmanly scream came from inside, and Jace fumbled for the light switch. Jordan was stood on his bed, lamp in hand, when I reached the door after Jace.

"Where are Magnus and Alec?" Jace asked, rushing over to Magnus' bed.

"I thought they were in your room?" Jordan asked, setting down the lamp.

"They're not," I said, slipping once again into my male voice. I felt like I hadn't done it in a while.

"I overheard that Kirk beat you up," Jordan said. "Are you okay, Cain?"

"Yeah," I said.

"Kirk also said something about, 'Getting back at that smart ass faggot punk,'." Jordan went a little pale. "You don't… you don't think that could have been Alec or Magnus, do you?"

"Alec, most likely." I shook my head. "He helped me when Kirk was kicking me."

"Oh, man," Jordan said. "Kirk can be cruel."

"I know." I looked towards Jace. "What are you doing?"

"Looking for clues, seeing if they'd been here, if Kirk had been here," he said, ripping Magnus' sheets from his bed.

There was a small silver key under one of Magnus' pillows, gleaming in the lamp light.

"It looks like a diary key," I said. "It's probably just that."

Jace nodded, placing all of the bed clothes back on the bed. We walked back out into the hall way, Jace running his hands through his hair. He paced up the hall way, back and forth between my door and Jordan's. I walked over to my door and opened it, going inside.

"What are you doing?" Jace asked. "You can't stop looking!"

"I'm not!" I snapped. "I'm changing my clothes. I think you should, too, because we won't be much help in wet clothes."

Jace nodded and dashed back to his room.

"Would you close the door?" Simon asked.

I looked over to him and Izzy, both curled up on Simon's bed. Izzy was asleep, one of Simon's tee-shirts on over her dress.

"Why didn't you talk earlier?" he asked.

"What?" I asked, pulling my jacket off.

"Earlier, you walked in and put something on your bed, then walked out. It was pretty dark, but you seemed angry."

I rushed over to my bed and pulled off my sheets. There, clear as day, was a slip of paper, blood stained and ripped. I picked it up and opened it, reading the note;

"Be fast now, it's getting hot. They won't survive in that heat."

"Simon, where's the hottest place in the school?" I asked.

"The boiler room," he mumbled.

"Where's that?" I asked.

"Down stairs…"

I rushed out to Jace's room in my suit pants and a tee-shirt, and thrust the note in his hands. His eyes lit up when he read it, and a small smile splayed across his face.

"He's not a very competent person, this Kirk, is he?" Jace said. "Come on."

We raced down the stairs to the boiler room and threw open the door. Heat came blasting through the door, filling the chilly hall with moist, hot air. We rushed into the room and saw Magnus and Alec, tied and gagged, next to the main boiler.

"Alec!" Jace shouted in relief.

"Mmm!" Alec tried to speak through his gag, nodding his head towards the door. "Mmm!"

"What's wrong?" Jace asked, kneeling next to his brother and untying the cloth.

"Look out!" Alec yelled, as soon as his mouth was free.

I turned in time to see Kirk closing the door, and swinging a bat at my head.


	31. Chapter 31

PoV Clary

The light burned into my retinas when I opened my eyes, blinding me. I groaned and turned my face into my pillow, trying to block out the light.

"Simon, close the curtain," I mumbled.

There wasn't a response from him. He must have been out.

My head pounded, my blood drumming in my ears heavily. I sat, my eyes closed, putting my feet on the cold floor. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn't figure it out. I stood, and my knees went weak beneath me.

I toppled to the floor, pulling the heat monitor from my chest accidentally. The machine went crazy, alarms ringing shrilly. Eyes wide, I took in the hospital room, utterly confused. I heard feet rushing to the room, rushing to my side. A doctor helped me up, placing the heart monitor back.

"Be more careful, okay, Cain?" he said with a smile.

"He's awake?" It was principle Hodge, the, as obviously stated, principle of the school. He walked in the door and smiled down at me. "How are, Cain?"

"I'm… okay." I winced as the light hit my eyes again. "You… am I going to be expelled?"

"Expelled?" Hodge exclaimed. "Why in heaven would we do that?"

"I… I'm not a guy…"

"I know that, Cain." Hodge smiled again. "I've known ever since the application."

"But…"

"It's okay, we've accepted transsexual students before, Cain," he said. "Why would we not allow you in?"

Just roll with it, Clary, I thought. "I don't know."

"Cain?" It was Jace, stood at the door, his cheek stitched up. He smiled when he saw me, and swiftly walked to my side. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay." I smiled at him, and Hodge awkwardly backed out of the room. "What happened?"

"Kirk," Jace muttered darkly. "He jumped you. I got to him before he did too much damage, but you had to get stitches."

"What happened to your cheek?"

"He's got sharp knuckles," Jace said with a smirk. "I'm better at fighting that him, though." He sat next to my on the bed, pulling me close to him. "But, surprisingly, it was Magnus who beat him. Honestly, I don't think I've ever been more afraid of someone than when Magnus turned all bat shit crazy on Kirk. I almost felt sorry for the guy."

I chuckled, but groaned inwardly as it hurt my head too much.

"Really, Magnus just… kicked the living shit out of him. Kirk was bleeding pretty badly when Alec pulled Magnus off him. Kirk was still conscious, and had gotten a few good punches in before Magnus really flipped out, but I don't think he'll be walking for a few months, I think Magnus broke his leg."

"If I didn't that night, I'll track him down and break his leg now," Magnus said, walking in the door, limping slightly, with Alec on his tail. "How you doing, baby?"

"I'm okay, will people stop asking me if I'm okay?" I snapped, instantly regretting opening my mouth. "I'm sorry, Magnus."

"It's fine, baby," he cooed, placing a cooling hand on my cheek. "You need anything?"

"I'd say food if I thought I could keep anything down." I shrugged, resting my head on Jace again. "How are you two?"

"I'm fine," Alec said quietly.

"Me, too," Magnus said. "Aside from this limp, I'm fine."

Alec stood, mumbled something about a vending machine, and left. Magnus sighed, looking after him.

"Sup with him?" I mumbled.

"He's been quiet since the attack," Jace said. "I haven't been able to get a word out of him since then."

"Well, last night was stressful," I said.

"Clary, it was two nights ago," Magnus said.

"What?" I looked up at Jace for confirmation. He nodded. "I missed my plane home."

"There's another one that the school's paying for," Magnus said. "Don't worry; you'll be home for Christmas."

"My mom must be freaking out," I said.

"Oh, she is," Simon said, walking in the door, his cheeks and nose red from the cold. "I just came from the school, been packing your travel stuff. Just in case you woke up soon."

"Oh, Simon," I said, opening my arms for a hug. "I'm so grateful for you."

"I love you, too, Clary," he said, smiling.

Jace pouted next to me, so I hugged him, too.

"Can anyone explain Alec's bad mood?" Simon asked.

"He feels like it's his fault I got beaten up," Magnus said, quietly. "Which is absurd, I would take a beating for him anyway."

"Maybe we should talk to him," I said.

"Yeah." Magnus nodded, smiling at me. "You can talk to him for me?"

I sighed, but nodded.

"Great, but I get the make-up make-out," Magnus said.

"Agreed," Jace and I said in unison.


	32. Chapter 32

PoV Clary

I got out of the hospital that night, after the doctors did one final check. I walked to the curb and hailed a cab. I gave the address of the school, and sat silently in the back seat.

"You okay, kid?" the cabbie asked.

"Yeah," I said. "I got beaten up a bit, but I'm alright."

"You look like you took a beaten, you do," he said, nodding his head. "You sure you don't want to go some place for food or a drink?" He blushed. "Not that I'm asking if you'd like to go with me, I just…"

I chuckled, and patted his shoulder. "I get it. Naw, I'm okay. I just want to get back to my dorm so I can go home."

He smiled. "Driving a cab was easier back in the seventies; you could ask if someone wanted to change their destination without people thinking you're a rapist or something, you know?"

"Kind of," I said. "I wasn't alive then."

"I know," he said. "Hey, have you read Catcher in the Rye?"

"Yeah." I stretched my arms. "It was a good book."

"I read that book when I was about your age. It was one of the best things I'd ever read."

I smiled at him in the mirror, and we pulled up in front of the school. I stepped out, and paid.

"Just promise me something?" he asked.

"Yeah?"

"Don't think of people like Holden did," he said. "There are a lot of strange people, but they are the best people, not the worst."

I nodded and waved as he drove off. I looked down at my hand and realized he hadn't taken my money.

The corridor was cold when I stepped inside the building, and dark. I walked to my room and opened the door with one hand, dragging the other shaking hand through my hair. I didn't like the dark of the hallway. It felt unnatural.

When I opened the door, I found it was dark as well, but I could feel there were people inside. I flipped on the light, and found Magnus, Jace and Simon all facing the door, smiles on their faces. I smiled myself, and felt the cut on my lip strain. I hugged each of them in turn, but when I got to Magnus, I could see he'd been crying. I looked up at him with concern in my eyes, but he just shook his head and mouthed, "Not now."

We all sat on my bed, Magnus, Jace and I all sat against the head board, Simon sprawled across our legs. We were all laughing like maniacs when there was a gentle knock on the door, almost like the person didn't want to be heard. Jace got up and pulled open the door, revealing Alec, his eyes bloodshot and his cheeks blotchy.

He looked straight at me and mumbled, "Can I talk to you?"

I followed him out the door, and down to his and Jace's room.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Clary, do you think that Magnus doesn't deserve me?"

"What? Why?"

"He got beaten up because of me!" he yelled, gesticulating towards the door. "He hasn't had problems from homophobic jerk faces like that before he started dating me!"

"Alec," I said sternly. "Kirk's a transfer, he wasn't here last year. Magnus didn't get beaten up because of you. He got beaten up because he happens to be anything but straight and Kirk doesn't like that."

Alec turned his back on me, and I could tell from the shake in his shoulders that he was crying.

"Alec," I said softly. "It's not your fault."

He turned and hugged me, his baggy sweater engulfing me in one big, soft bubble. I hugged him in return and patted his back awkwardly. He sobbed into the top of my head, quietly and heavily. I pushed him onto his bed and sat next to him, handing him a tissue and pulling him back into the hug.

"You know," I said, over his shoulder, "I think that Magnus would also like to hug you."

He nodded and mumbled something.

"What?"

"I would like that," he repeated.

He pulled away from me, stretched a thin line of snot connecting his nose and my shoulder.

"Ew!" I exclaimed, jumping up and away.

He laughed in that goofy baby way, when they laugh in between sobs. I pulled off my shirt and threw it on the ground, brushing at my shoulder frantically. Alec's laugh bubbled around the room, his joy lighting up his face. I riffled through Jace's closet and pulled out a shirt, slipping it on over my head. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and did a double take.

It looked like I hadn't slept in two days, instead of being asleep for that amount of time. I looked like I hadn't eaten in a while, which I guess I hadn't. There was a set of stitched on my side, red and ugly looking. I wrapped my arms around my waist and frowned at myself.

"They'll heal," Alec said softly. "You'll be okay."

"I hope so."

We walked back to my room, and spent the rest of the night there. Just as Magnus claimed, he and Alec had a make-up make-out, which Jace frowned at, but he smiled a few seconds later, thinking, probably, that Alec was happy like that.

We fell asleep in my room, curled up on the floor, all of the blankets and pillows from our combined rooms piled under and on us. It was like one big, warn nest of love. I smiled as I saw Magnus and Alec curl around each other. Simon was squished between Alec and me, Jace's arms around my waist. There was almost no space to move, but it didn't matter. It was warm and calm, quickly lulling us to sleep.

Magnus was the first to wake up, apparently, and he woke Alec up, who woke Jace up, who woke me up. We all drew all over Simon's face and neck with sharpie and lipstick, strangely procured by Magnus. I drew several love hearts on Simon's cheeks and forehead with the lipstick, one right next to his eye in sharpie.

Jace and Alec drew dicks all over his face. Magnus laughed and shook his head, smiling at Alec letting loose and being a child.

We all cackled evilly when Simon screamed from the bathroom, and came out a few minutes later, lipstick gone, but sharpie still evident. He had dicks all over his face and a cute little heart right next to his eye.

"Guys, it won't come off," he growled.

"Well, you'll just have to go home like that," Magnus said with a shrug. "Come on, we've got planes to catch."


	33. Chapter 33

PoV Clary

I sat next to Magnus at the airport, waiting for my plane. It turned out that Magnus, Jace and Alec were on my plane, since Jace lives with Alec and Magnus was visiting Alec's family before he and Alec went back to New York to go to Magnus'. It was all nice and dandy at the waiting point, and they even exchanged their first class tickets for economy tickets. (I don't even think you can normally do that, but they bribed the guy at the ticket stand).

When it came time to board the plane, Magnus was gripping Alec's hand pretty tight.

"You okay, Maggie?" Alec whispered.

"Just… scared of flying," he said. "There's so much space between us and the ground. We're putting our lives in one, maybe two guys' hands. I hate flying."

"It's fun," I said. "Just imagine you're on the back of a big bird that is going to take you home."

"I hate birds," Magnus said, his voice a perfect monotone.

"Mr. Buzz-kill."

When we got on the plane, I sat next to the window, Jace sat next to me, and Alec and Magnus sat together in the seats in front of us. It was just like the bus ride to school that first day, Magnus sat in front of me next to the window, and Alec sat in front of Jace in the aisle seat. Except Magnus didn't turn around to talk to me for a while, since he was waiting for the plain to become horizontal instead of diagonal.

"Magnus, you'll be fine," Alec said soothingly, stroking a hand through Magnus' ebony locks. He hadn't put his hair up this morning, seeing as we were just going to be on a plane.

"The flight isn't even that long," Jace said. "Just a little under forty minutes."

"Seems like a waste of a flight for a distance we could drive in less than three hours," Magnus mumbled.

We went over a bump of turbulence.

"Oooooh, God," Magnus moaned quietly. "Mankind was not meant to fly, if we were, we would have been born with wings."

Alec slipped his arm around Magnus, softly rocking him back and forth. "It's okay," he said. "It's okay to be scared, but nothing is going to hurt you."

I smiled and leaned against the wall, looking out the window at the clouds.

There was a man in the seat next to Alec across the aisle, and he didn't seem all too pleased with Magnus and Alec being all touchy feely.

"Excuse me," he said, trying to sound pleasant. "But there are children on this plane."

"And?" Jace asked him, causing the man to turn around in his seat.

"Well, we don't want them to see this, now do we?" he asked.

"See what?" I asked, sitting up in my seat. "The stewardess getting fingered up there?"

He turned to see what I was talking about, then, seeing nothing, turned back with a scowl. "I don't want my kids to be exposed to this sort of unnaturalness." He gestured at Alec and Magnus.

"Unnatural?" Magnus asked. "To quote Russell Howard, "You're flying"."

"I do not want my children to bear witness to this sort of disgusting behaviour; I will call the stewardess and get you removed!" He was angry now, two red spots forming on his cheeks.

"Oh, please, it's not like we're in skin tight leather suits with feather boas," Magnus said, sitting up straighter. "I'm sorry if my love for him offends you."

"That's enough, Magnus," Alec said. "Listen, I am sorry if you don't like our life style, but you have no right to ask us to stop. That'd be like me asking you to stop holding your wife because she was air sick. You're comforting her, and there is nothing wrong with that. You didn't even know we were gay until Magnus said it, you just didn't like that I had my arm around him. He could have been my cousin for all you care, and you still would have said that because you wanted to protect your masculinity." Alec shook his head. "No, I will not stop holding my boyfriend, because he doesn't like flying and he deserves the same amount of comfort as your wife would if she were scared."

There was a silence as the on lookers digesting what Alec had said. I didn't notice when he was talking, but a large group of people had stopped what they were doing to listen to Alec. One old man raised his hand and clapped, followed by another few people. Alec blushed and ducked his head, while the other man scowled and went back to his book.

"Asshole," the old man said, and turned to Alec. "I wouldn't have been as brave as you if that happened to me, so don't hold your head down. Stand up for your man the way I wasn't able to stand up for mine."

Alec nodded, and Magnus smiled shyly.

Jace rested his head on my shoulder and sighed. "If you were a guy, and I really was gay, I would've said the same thing."

I laughed quietly and said, "I know, Jace. I know."


	34. Chapter 34

PoV Clary

When we got off the plane, I almost ran into my mum I was so excited to see her.

"Hi, sweetie!" she laughed.

"Hi, mum!" I yelled, swinging around in her arms.

I caught glimpse of Alec over my mums shoulder, his face pale.

"Sup?" I asked him, letting go of my mum.

"My parents are here."

I turned to see Isabelle running towards us in her high heels, clicking loudly with every step. "Alec!" she yelled. "It's so good to see you!"

She flung her arms around his neck, pulling him close and almost knocking him off his feet. He laughed briefly before catching sight of the look on his father's face. It was almost like disgust, but intermingled with a slight hope that his son had been joking about Magnus and being gay. Seeing Magnus there, though, seemed to chase that hope away. It left me with an uneasy feeling in my stomach. Alec seemed to shrink under the withering gaze of his father as his mother embraced him.

Robert looked at Alec and nodded, then turned and embraced Jace.

"How was school, son?" he asked Jace.

"It was good," Jace said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "This is Cain. My boyfriend."

My mother's laugh sound like a choke and made Maryse jump.

"Your… boyfriend?" Robert asked. "You are also gay?"

"Pansexual," Jace bullshitted. "Cain's birth name is Clarissa, but he feels more comfortable as Cain."

My mother snorted with laughter again and covered her mouth, causing Maryse to look at her questioningly. My mother leaned over and whispered something into her ear, causing Maryse' eyebrows to raise and her to laugh. She winked at me and smiled at Jace, and I added another person to the list of "they know my secret".

Robert went back to looking at Alec, and awkwardly embraced his son. "How was school?"

Alec just stared at his father in bewilderment for a moment, and then said, "S'okay."

Robert nodded and shook hands with Magnus, who was trying not to laugh.

"So…" Robert started. "You're my son's boyfriend?"

"Yep," Magnus said. "I don't normally look this plain, I just didn't have time in the morning for all my product."

Robert's eyebrows shot up and he nodded, as if expecting this. He mumbled something and went to stand next to Maryse again, putting a hand on her waist.

"Oh, Robert, I invited them all over for lunch," Maryse said. "They're coming over now."

"Oh."

So we all piled into our cars, Magnus with Alec and Isabelle, Jace with me and my mum. The car ride was silent and a bit awkward, Jace's hand in mine. When we got to Alec's house, (cough mansion cough) we all separated and went to different rooms. I was going to follow Isabelle when Jace pulled me away and into his room, closing the door before kissing me hard on the lips, his hands on my waist. I could feel his heart hammering in his chest, just like mine.

We slowly sank onto his bed, after removing each other's coats and our own shoes. His hands slide up the sides of my shirt, his fingers fiddling with the bottom of my binder. I smiled against his lips, running my hands through his hair.

Jace pushed himself away from me slightly, propping himself up on his elbows. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"

I nodded after a moment, deliberating it in my head. "Are you?"

"Yeah," Jace said, his golden eyes shining with an almost feverish light. "Are you?"

"You just asked me that."

Jace nodded and kissed me again, his hands slowly sliding under me to find the clasp to my binder. He mumbled something against my lips and moved to kiss my throat. I hooked my fingers into his belt loops and pulled him closer, smiling slightly as his stubble tickled my neck.

"Jace, lunch is read- Oh my god!" It was Alec at the door, quickly going red and stumbling backwards into the hallway. I heard a soft thud and he and someone else, who I soon found out to be Magnus, toppled to the ground.

Jace laughed as I felt my face going red as well. Jace pulled me up from the bed and straightened out my shirt, then strode into the hallway to help his brother to his feet. I followed close behind, still red. Magnus was laughing on the ground, almost in tears. Isabelle ran back up the stairs to see what was going on. She shook her head when she saw us and went back down. We all joined her and our parents for lunch.

It was super awkward.


	35. Chapter 35

PoV Clary

I sat up in my bed, looking down at Jace, his golden hair fanned out across my pillow. I looked down at myself, my red underwear not at all matching my baby blue bra, but who cares? I had the man of my dreams next to me. It was the day after Christmas, and nearly time to go back to school. I didn't want to go back, and I didn't want to stay home. I was stuck in the middle of where I wanted to be.

I got up and put on some clothes, careful not to wake Jace. He shifted in his sleep, his face peaceful and calm. I knew I'd have to wake him up, seeing as he had agreed to go to the mall with Alec and pick out some new clothes for the school year. I was going with Magnus to do the exact same thing, but I knew it would take us a lot longer to find good clothes.

I shook Jace's shoulder, waking him slowly from his dreams.

"Do you mind?" he asked groggily. "I was riding a llama."

"You'll have to continue that dream later," I said. "It's time to go shopping."

…

About an hour later, Magnus and I sat with a huff at one of the mall tables. Magnus put his head on the table, let out a long sigh and went almost completely limp.

"I ache all over!" he said. "My shoulders hurt, my feet hurt, my arms hurt, and my butt hurts."

"Your butt?" I asked, leaning back in my chair. "We've only been sat down for, like, two minutes."

He looked up at me, his yellowy green eyes glinting in the fluorescent lights. "I never said it was because I have been sitting for too long, Clarissa."

"I don't think I want to know."

He shook his head. "I'll just leave it at this. Alec's parents better be happy we slept in my apartment."

"I knew I didn't want to know."

Magnus smiled and rested his head on the table top again, shifting in his seat slightly. I watched him as he shifted, and then looked around the café. I spotted some people from my old school, and waved. They walked over to say hello, and soon became attached to Magnus. I looked on, smiling as Magnus got exasperated at my old friends from school. To be honest, they weren't really my friends; I just sat with them at lunch so I wouldn't be sat alone.

"Cain?"

I turned and saw Jonathan, who made his way towards Magnus and I.

"Hey, I didn't know that you lived around here," he said.

"Who's Cain?" one of the girls said.

Jonathan pointed to me, and the girls raised their eyebrows.

"That's Clary."

"Well," Jonathan said. "I don't judge people on their orientations, so why would I judge people on their sexualities?"

"You're trans?"

I shrugged, and looked across the table at Magnus.

"Well, Cain and I have some business to do elsewhere," he said.

I stood and picked up my bags, heading for the exit with Magnus. Jonathan ran to catch up with us.

"I just wanted to say I am truly sorry for what my brother tried to do to you," he said.

"It doesn't change what he did," Magnus said with a glare.

"But thank you," I said.

…

When I got home, my new clothes in bags, my hair freshly cut and washed, I sat down and put in the first Supernatural DVD. It was going to be a long break.

Jace came and sat next to me.

"When'd you get here?" I asked.

"Me and Alec were out shorted than you and Magnus," he said. "I got you something."

He pulled out a small velvet box from his pocket.

"Are you proposing?" I asked.

"Sort of," Jace replied.

He stood and knelt in front of me.

"Clary Frey," he said. "I promise to always to be loyal to you, and to always try to be understanding. I love you, Clary, and I don't want to lose you."

I smiled at him and let him place the black ring band on my finger. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and leaned into him. "I love you, too, Jace."


	36. Chapter 36

PoV Clary

I almost didn't want to go back. I didn't want to hide who I was anymore, and the more times I looked at that binder, the more I wanted to rip it to pieces. I was sort of flat chested, and the first day back we weren't doing anything. We were just waiting for all the other boys to get back to school. The first week back really didn't count, as everyone was still on holiday in their minds.

Magnus and I hung out again the day before we had to go back, getting our hair cut and the like. Magnus had somehow convinced me to get very short hair, like, almost no hair. Okay, maybe that was exaggerating it a bit, but it was a lot shorter than I had ever had. It was shorter on the back and sides, and a bit longer on the top, like P!nk, but not quite as long on the top. Magnus wanted to dye it bright orange, but I didn't let him, as I was ginger enough. I didn't need to look like a carrot. Not that I have anything against people with hair like that.

Jace did a double take when he saw my hair, almost dropping the plate he was holding. He and Alec had spent most of the day together again, mostly packing for the next day. They were in Alec's room when we, Magnus and I, walked in.

"What did you do to your hair?" Jace asked, rushing forward and rubbing the pads of his fingers over the short hairs on the back of my head. "Why would you do this?"

"I need to look like a boy, don't I?" I asked, smiling slightly. "I like it this way, too. So don't diss it. You just haven't gotten used to it."

"Well," Magnus said. "Personally, I think it would have been better flaming orange, or even blood orange."

"You're so pretentious," Alec and Jace chimed in at the same time. "It's fucking red."

Magnus looked affronted before Alec explained the joke to him. Magnus huffed and crossed his arms, pouting a little.

"It may have been in the name of humour, but I am not pretentious," Magnus said, turning away from Alec and taking out his phone.

"Oh, come on," Jace said, seeing the stricken look on Alec's face. "It was a joke, Magnus, and you walked into it."

"Just shut up, Jace," Alec said, sitting back down on his bed, looking dejectedly at the floor.

"Oh, you're both so melodramatic," Jace snarked, turning back to me. "Let's go to my room, to be away from all this gay."

"There's nothing wrong with gay," I said, but I let him pull me out of Alec's room.

Out of the corner of my eye, I say Magnus sit next to Alec and wrap his arms around his boyfriend. They would be okay. Jace led me down a long, winding hallway, to his room, with was a little bit smaller than Alec's. Jace's room was plain, almost like a monks quarters. Jace's bed was the only thing that would give away that someone live in it. The bed was made, but the sheets were rumpled from use, and hasty rearranging.

"Not a believer in interior decorating, I see," I mused.

Jace let out a small, almost surprised laugh. "I don't spend much time in here."

"Don't like to be alone?" Jace probably would have come back with some witty retort if not of the sincerity in my voice.

"Yeah," he said. "Not since my mum died."

"I'm sorry," I said. "I never knew my dad."

"Really?" Jace asked, clutching to the change in topic like a life line. "Why not?

"He died before I was born." I sat on Jace's bed, feeling the soft blanket beneath my fingers. "My mum doesn't like to talk about him, seeing as it was hard for her when he died." I knew I was rambling, but Jace didn't seem to mind. "He was a soldier. He fought in Afghanistan."

"Is that where he died?" Jace asked, sitting next to me.

"No, he slipped and fell on some ice." I looked over at him. "He died a few hours later in the E.R."

There was a silence. It wasn't awkward at all, just silence wrapped around the two of us like a warm blanket. Jace scooted closer and placed an arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer, nuzzling his nose on my neck. I smiled a little, letting Jace gently push me down onto the blankets. He caressed my cheeks, kissing my forehead, my lips, my collar bone. His lips burned almost feverishly against my skin, cracked and chewed on. His lips, Jace's lips, those perfect lips that would have disappointed me if they weren't imperfect.

I let out a relaxed sigh through my nose as he kissed and nipped at the base of my neck, leaving little love bites. He kissed my lips, soft and sweet, but there was a built up tensions in the hard set muscle of his back. I ran my hands over his broad shoulders, getting lost in the passion of him. His hands swooped down my stomach, his thumbs tracing patters on my skin. His kisses turned heated, faster, and I loved it. I was ran my fingers through the silky tresses of his golden hair, curling them into the waves at the nape of his neck.

His hands slipped further down my body, coming to rest on the hem of my jeans, his fingers playing with the button. His fingers were warm on the skin of my stomach, but the feeling he gave me, with his fingers on my stomach, wasn't pleasant. I frowned slightly, not quite sure what was going on inside me. Jace popped the button of my jeans open and began to slide the zipper down.

A flash of silver hair, of dark, obsidian eyes flashed across my mind and I froze. I didn't want Jace's fingers on me, I didn't want his loving touches. Roughly shoving him away from me, I sprang off his bed, reaching for the wall. I stood with my shoulders hunched, my chin to my chest, facing a corner of his room.

"Clary?" he asked. "Clary, what's wrong?"

I shook my head, gripping my upper arms tightly.

"Was it something I did?" Jace stood and walked towards me, his face flushed and his hair tousled.

Again, I shook my head. "No," I whispered. "It's not something you did."

There was a silence. "Was it Sebastian?"

I nodded, keeping my head down. "I'm sorry, Jace. I just can't do this right now."

Jace pulled me away from the wall, his movements soft and caring. "Hey, you don't have to apologize. I pushed you too far."

I looked up at him, filled with compassion. "Oh, Jace," I said, wrapping my arms around him. "What did I do to deserve someone as great as you?"

"I don't know," Jace said. "I'm just so stunningly perfect."

"He's modest, too," I laughed.

"I'm very modest." Jace and I sat on his bed again, the feelings of a few minutes early already dissipated. "And I love you, Clary."

"I love you, too, Jace."


	37. Chapter 37

PoV Clary

The plane ride home was eventful. Jace kept his arm firmly wrapped around me, and he kept kissing my forehead over and over. I was starting to worry that he was trying to make me feel special or good after what happened the day before, until he turned to me with a bashful smile.

"Sorry," he said. "I guess Magnus isn't the only one who doesn't like flying."

I let out a relieved breath. "That's okay."

Alec turned to see if we were okay, and to tell us that there were only thirteen minutes left of our flight. He nodded and sat back down, wrapping his arm around Magnus, who was slowly breathing into his cupped hand, trying to calm down.

"You'll be okay," I said, reaching through the seat to pat his shoulder.

"Can I just say," said a girl next to them. "You two are the most adorable couple I've ever seen."

I blushed. She was the girl at the party I'd walked in on. She and Jordan had been having sex. She was the girl at the party. She turned to look at us, he face also turning red.

"Oh," she said. "Hi."

"Hi," I said.

"Sup?"

"Nothing much. You?"

"Nothing much."

There was an awkward silence between us, Jace's hand rubbing up and down my arm.

"My names Maia," she said.

"Cain," I said.

"I thought you were a girl?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, that was just a costume."

She nodded, turning back around in her seat.

"You know her?" Jace asked.

"I walked in on her and Jordan fucking," I whispered to him, feeling my ears grow even warmer.

He snorted, laughing to himself.

"Are you okay, Magnus?" I heard Alec say.

"I don't think so," Magnus moaned, bent over in his seat. "I think that restaurant had bad fish. I'm gonna be sick."

Alec scrambled for a sick bag, holding it to Magnus's face while Jace called over an airhostess.

"Are friends sick, do you have any medicine or something to make his stomach better?" he asked.

"Is he sick due to turbulence?" she asked. Her name tag said she was called Heather.

"I think it's food poisoning from last night," Alec chipped in, rubbing his boyfriends back.

"Oh," Heather said. "We have some crackers and sprite, which might calm his tummy. I'll be right back."

"Did she just say tummy?" Magnus asked, his voice weak and muffle by the bag.

"Yeah, she did," I answered, reaching over his seat to pull back his hair. "You'll be fine."

"I'm never flying again." Magnus shook his head, and then moaned a little.

Heather came back with the crackers and soda, giving it to Alec. "Call me if there's anything else I can do."

I nodded, and rubbed Magnus's shoulder.

We arrived in New York a few minutes later, quickly pulling Magnus into a bathroom and staying there for half an hour. It probably wasn't the best flight I've ever had, but I can't say that I would have changed it. It seemed to bring all of us closer together. Even if that sounds extremely cheesy, it's true.


	38. Chapter 38

PoV Clary

When we got back to the school, Magnus went to his room and stayed there for the next few hours. Alec was with him most of that time, until Magnus fell asleep. Alec then joined us in the common room. School wasn't starting for another few days, so we had some time to just chill.

Jace had his arm around me and we were watching TV when Simon came in.

"How was your holiday?" I asked, as he sat next to me.

"It was fine," he said, relaxing into the chair. "We didn't do much. Got Chinese food Christmas night. Other than that, not really interesting."

"Why Chinese?" Jace asked.

"It's a tradition," Simon said. "We've gone every year, except the year my dad died."

"You're dad died?" I asked.

"Yeah. It was after we moved."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

Alec walked into the common room, clearly exhausted, but wanted to mingle nonetheless. He sat in the chair next to Jace, pulling his long legs onto the seat. He rested his head on his palm, and turned to face us. "What's new?"

"Nothing much," I said.

"Simon's dad is dead," Jace said, not moving his eyes from the screen.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Alec said through a yawn.

"It happened years ago," Simon said. "Can we please drop the subject?"

Alec nodded sleepily, and turned to face the TV. "Have you guys read The Fault in Our Stars?"

"I have," I said.

"Is it any good?"

"Yeah, it's really good. It's really funny, but it's a massive tear jerker."

"Oh."

"Why?"

"Magnus wants me to read it," Alec said, rubbing his eyes. "He said I'd like it."

"I think you'd like it, too."

He nodded, looking at the show again. "What are you watching?"

"Ancient Aliens," Jace said. "They look through history and try to explain everything with aliens. The pyramids, the death of Christ, the birth of Christ."

"Sounds… interesting," Alec said, running a hand through his hair."

"It's really not," I said. "We turned on the TV and then lost the remote control. We can't change the channel."

Alec laughed, and yawned again.

"Why don't you go to sleep?" Jace asked, looking at his brother. "You seem very tired."

"I wanna wait for Magnus to wake up," he said. "He's sick, so he should have someone look after him."

"It's nice, and all, that you're doing that for him, "Simon said. "But if you get sick because you haven't been sleeping, then he's not going to be that happy."

Alec looked shocked. "I hadn't thought of that."

"Go to bed, Alec," I said kindly. "We'll come get you if Magnus wakes up."

He nodded, and stood. Walking out of the room, he bumped lightly into the wall. He laughed, the first real laugh I'd heard from him. It had been surprised out of him.

"I would do the same thing for you," Jace said, looking at me.

"No, you wouldn't," I said jokingly. "You'd never give up your beauty sleep."


	39. Chapter 39

PoV Clary

Before I left for Christmas holiday, my English teacher gave us an assignment. It was to write an essay about how everyone is two dimensional. It had to be at least three well written paragraphs, "so I'm letting you get a middle school essay," he told us. He also told us we had to write it, and what he wanted it to be, or we'd get a zero, and there was no way to change his mind. I started to write the night I got home, but I couldn't get passed,

"People who we meet are always two dimensional, because-"

I just couldn't continue. I pushed it off, and I couldn't get myself to write it. I couldn't write it.

I asked Magnus and Alec, and they said that it wasn't like Mr. B, my English teacher, to do this. He was always a happy kind of guy, and Magnus often gave him a glowing review. Alec, less enthralled by my teacher, also agreed that it wasn't right for him to make us do this essay.

Anyway.

Magnus and I were hanging out in the commons when Mrs. Blanchet came by.

"Magnus, I need you to lead a group of incoming freshmen around," she said. "It's in a few hours."

"What?" Magnus asked, sitting up straighter. "No!"

"Either do this, or have the three detentions you've missed."

"Fine," Magnus grumbled. "But only if Cain does it, too."

"Fine. Mr. Fray can accompany you."

That's how Magnus and I ended up giving a group of ten thirteen to fourteen year olds a tour of the school. We were doing fine, showing them to best art rooms, the worst bathrooms, the secret passages that can help you get to class quicker. Then we met up with the principle, and Mr. Hodge welcomed the students.

"…and that's why we have one of the best school systems in the state," he said, smiling. "Any questions?"

"Why is your school full of fags?" a kid yelled from the back.

Magnus tensed beside me, cracking his knuckles behind his back.

"We don't allow language like that," Mr. Hodge said. "If you continue to use that sort of language, you won't be invited back next year." He nodded to us. "Have a good day."

We continued down the science wing when I heard that kid talking to his friends.

"Come on," he said. "Let's sneak around. I don't want to follow around some faggot ass perv around anymore."

"Shut up, Josh," another kid said.

"Fuck off, Raphael," Josh said.

"Excuse me," I said, my voice deepening. "Please pay attention."

They went quiet. As we passed the dorm rooms, Alec showed up. He was still in his pajamas, and a pair of grey socks. He had half a bagel in his hand, a bite taken out of it.

"This is one of our Juniors," Magnus said. "And one of the best football players in the state. And my boyfriend~!" Magnus placed his arms around Alec's shoulders. The younger boys shuffled on their feet.

We were about to continue when the boy from earlier mumbled, "Fag."

"I'm sorry," I said. "Do you have a problem?"

"Yeah," Josh said. "I don't wanna be in a school of gays and weaklings."

"Are you calling me weak?" I asked.

"Yeah. I'm more a man than you'll ever be."

"Oh, really? Prove it." I crossed my arms over my chest, raising an eye brow in disbelief.

"I've been through more than you have. I've had to take on the family burden since my dad died," he said, puffing up his chest.

"You've had to look after your three year old sister for two hours every Saturday," Raphael mumbled from the back.

"I got kicked in the face in soccer."

"My foot grazed the end of your nose," another boy said.

"I've had sex!"

No one called him out.

Stepping closer to him, and speaking quietly, I said, "Is that it?"

Josh nodded his head.

"I'm sorry you're dad died, but that seems to be something we've got in common," I said. "I've been beat up three times in the past three months. And you know what?"

"What?" Josh asked with a sneer.

"I've forgiven both of those people." I smiled a little. "Not for their sake, but for mine." I took a deep breath. "I was nearly… I was nearly raped, twice, by the same guy, and I forgave him, too. Not for him, but for me. I'm more of a man than you are, because I don't hold on to childish squabbles. I let these things go. That guy ruined my life. But I'm not letting myself sink into self pity. I go on in my life, I got myself a boyfriend, I have the best friends in the world, and I live the best damn life I can. So you can stuff your big man talk up your ass, and learn some decency."

Josh was quiet. He had gone pale, his hands trembling. He was silent for the rest of the trip.

At the end, when we were walking them to their parents' luxury cars, he tapped on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I… I'm sorry."

I nodded. "It's okay."

"How do you… move on from that?"

"From what?"

Josh looked over my shoulder. "A couple years ago, my mom's boyfriend… touched me." He looked so small, so frightened, in that moment.

I placed a hand on his shoulder. "You forgive him for hurting you. Never forget, but let him leave you. Don't hold on to the thought of him. Let yourself live again."

He nodded, and looked again over my shoulder. He stepped forward and hugged me, then pushed me away almost as quickly. "I'm not gay."

"You want to know a secret?" I whispered.

He nodded.

"Me neither." I smiled, letting myself slip into my normal voice. "I'm a girl. Don't tell anyone. I'm undercover."

He shook his head, smiling. "You're one weird guy."

Later than night, I sat to write my essay.

"People are not two dimensional. They may seem that way, but people are always layered. They say and do things that might conflict with what they believe, but are forced to say and do. People are hurt by themselves, and others, but that changes them, it shapes who they are meant to be. It makes them become better people.

"Take Alexander Lightwood. When I first met him, I thought he was an ass. He was big, and brooding, and mean. You'd never think that if you listened to his sister, Isabelle. She praises him daily, saying how kind he is, how loyal he is. If you talked to his brother, you'd see how sporty he is. If you talked to his boyfriend, you'd see how funny he is, how soft and gentle he is.

"I know that giving you this essay, Mr. B, that I will be getting a zero on my assignment. I don't care. People have never been two dimensional. I'm sorry if someone has hurt you to make you feel this way, but it is wrong to degrade people like this. To insist that everyone is flat. It is not correct to teach us that we are flat."

And do you know what? I got a 97 on that essay.


	40. Chapter 40

PoV Clary

It was late when I got back to my room. Simon looked up from his comic book, his glasses askew on his face. I smiled at him and sat on my bed, dropping my bag on the floor. I pulled off my shoes and tossed them to the foot of my bed, sighing.

"You look like a PDS sufferer," Simon said.

"A what?" I asked, looking over at him tiredly.

"A Partially Deceased Syndrome sufferer." Simon smiled and motioned to his laptop, which was open to a paused video. The screen displayed two sickly pale teens with yellowy white irises and pupils that looked like they had exploded. "In The Flesh. British TV show. It's cool. Got zombies. And gays."

"Oh, really?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said, looking back down at his comic. "Not quite as gay as Magnus, who isn't even gay, but gay zombies eye fucking into the next century."

"You want to talk about eye fucking?" I asked. "Have you seen Supernatural?"

He laughed and smiled at me again, reaching for his glasses case. "You might want to go to bed. It's New Years Eve tomorrow, you've got to be up for the fireworks."

"They have fireworks here?" I asked.

"Yeah," he answered. "Big and red and blue."

I changed into my pajamas while he put his glasses away.

"Well," he mumbled, crawling under his blankets. "Night."

"Night."

It was late when I got up. I was just in time for lunch.

"There he is!" Jordan said, pointing at me. "How have you been? I just got back, so I'm catching up."

"I've been good," I said. "Saw the girl you slept with on Hallowe'en on the plane ride back."

"She's so cute, don't you think?"

"Sorry," Jace said. "He's more into me."

"So you two finally hooked up, huh?" Jordan asked.

"About three months ago, Jor," Simon said.

"Jor?" Alec asked. "The fuck kind of nick-name is Jor?"

Simon looked down at his plate, blushing. "It's just something I came up with."

"Sorry," Alec muttered. "Didn't mean to make fun of you."

"S'okay." Simon smiled and slurped some noodles.

Jace pulled me down next to him, passing me more food. "Have something to eat, you slept through breakfast."

"It was nearly one when sh…" Simon shot a look at Jordan. "When he got back. Of course he slept in."

Jordan looked confused. "Why'd you nearly call him a she?"

"Because I'm in disguise," I whispered dramatically. "I'm really a girl."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"That's cool. I wouldn't like to dress up as the opposite gender, but only because I feel uncomfortable in skirts."

"Have you worn one before?" Alec asked.

"Haven't you?"

Everyone was quiet.

"Where's my snuggle muffin?!" Magnus yelled from the door.

"Snuggle muffin?" Simon asked, looking at Alec. "You criticize Jor but not snuggle muffin?"

"This is the first I've heard it," Alec said as Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec's shoulders and sat.

"I've missed you, baby," Magnus purred. "Where were you this morning?"

"I had to go back to my room or Jace would yell at me," Alec said, turning to look Magnus in the eyes.

Magnus rested his forehead on Alec's smiling in a goofy way. "I'm sure he'd have been fine. I had to…" Magnus whispered something into his boyfriend's ear, causing Alec to blush vibrantly. "And I had to do it all by myself."

Alec cleared his throat and looked at the rest of us, who were sat in silence. He looked back at Magnus, some of the blush receding. "I'm sorry. I would have been there to help. I promise it won't happen again."

"Okay, this just got really gay!" Jace exclaimed.

Simon laughed. "What, like your relationship isn't to the rest of the school?"

Jace shut up.

It was later that night when we all sat around a little make shift camp fire on the commons. Magnus and Alec were wrapped in each other, kissing and touching and caressing. Simon was sat near them, continuously moving his glasses up his nose and trying to read a book. He glanced over at them every now and then, a blush rising on his face.

"Stop being so gay!" Jordan yelled in a cockney accent. "Or I'll smash ya, pooftahs!"

"The actual fuck, Jordan?" Alec asked, pulling away from Magnus.

"It's what homophobic Londoners sound like…?"

"My aunt lives in London and her son does not sound like that."

"Hush up, the fireworks are starting!" Jace said. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and leaned back.

I curled up next to him, my head on his chest, looking up at the explosions. They burst apart in the air, their sparkling tails trailing them, the deafening sound a constant in the air.

"I love you," Jace whispered.

I shifted to look at him, my chin resting on his shoulder. It was going to be a wonderful New Year. It was, I could feel it. I would have Jace, and Simon, and Magnus and Alec. I would have friends and family.

"I love you, too, Jace," I said. "I really do."


End file.
